‘We are taught from a young age, in order to be a good person, we must do for others. As mothers, we put everyone’s needs first.’

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“We are taught from a young age, in order to be a good person, we must do for others. As mothers, we put everyone’s needs first. As friends, we worry about being there. As partners, we give until we have nothing. It’s exhausting. So what happens when you give and give and have nothing left?

I don’t know about you, but I become a rage monster. I find myself yelling ‘hurry up!’ to the kids, pawning them off to my husband and being irritated by their presence. I start to feel friends are demanding and I mentally divorce my partner.

I scream, I yell, and I fall asleep not having a minute to myself to unwind because I’m so exhausted from giving. I’m burnt out. When you give from an empty cup, you never feel recharged. As mothers there is so much pressure to give and give and expect nothing in return. To give till your last breath and love it, otherwise you are plagued with guilt. Internal guilt and assumed guilt from others. It can be months before a mother takes any time to do what she loves, and grocery shopping is not on that list of time to herself despite that being suggested.

If I don’t have time alone, I become angry and a resentful mom. Simple. Today, self care was a massage and breakfast by myself. Couldn’t have felt happier. There’s all these shoulda’s and guilt thoughts wanting to break free but you know what I needed so I don’t become a rage monster? Time to myself… and honestly, how good I feel now, no regrets… and I miss my babies. Funny.

So when you feel yourself running out of patience, feeling irritated and the rage monster is coming out, take time to yourself. It is scientifically proven that we need it. Switch off and do something you absolutely love. If you want to be a good person and give to everyone, remember the most important person to give to is yourself, otherwise, you have nothing left to give.”

Laura Mazza/Mum on the Run

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza of Mum on the Run, where it originally appeared. Submit your story here, and subscribe to our best love stories here.

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