Happy
😁
‘They called. My husband thought I was crazy. I hopped on a plane by myself. 1,500 miles from home, I sat on a stretcher, determined to help someone become a mom. I was REALLY doing this.’
“I waited, patiently, for someone that needed me. I honestly never really expected to hear back. Then, it came. Before she was even able to tell me all of the risks associated with the surgery, I knew I was all in. This was my purpose.”
‘He caught me off guard. ‘Let’s meet.’ Weeks later, the inevitable happened. My fairy tale was under attack. My sorority sisters called the police, who brought me to the hospital. It’s all hazy.’
“I started to see signs all around me. It seemed as though clues were everywhere and everyone was in on it. I had no words, but the real me was crying out, ‘What is going on?!’ I couldn’t explain what was happening to me. My mind was stripped of everything.”
‘Please, I’ll give anything.’ Hands shaking, I glanced down at the test. Tears silently rolled. When we prepared for bed, my phone started ringing. My stomach dropped. She’d never called before.’
“I felt like everyone was passing me by and I was stagnant. I had no control over my body. Then I got a message that changed my life forever. I literally screamed. I was hopeful, excited, optimistic. Slowly, red flags started popping up.”
‘WHAT!? Going from no kids to 2 under 2 in 1 day?! What on earth were we getting ourselves into?! My husband and I looked at each other. ‘WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?’
“The docs were certain I had mono. I kept thinking to myself, ‘There’s no way this is happening again’. The next day I get an urgent call. The clinic frantically demanded for me to be at the hospital ASAP for an ultrasound. I literally laughed. ‘I’m not pregnant, you must have called the wrong patient.’”
‘I know you’re a boy,’ she whispered, tucking me in and kissing my forehead. My eyes widened. I hid who I was and planned to never tell a soul.’
“I went home and slipped off my dress, praying I’d wake up a normal boy. What was I going to tell my mom? Would my family still love me? Am I going to be safe? I hoped to fake my death and live as a boy, nobody knowing my past.”
‘I snapped a photo of my daughter on the exam table, bragging about my healthy girl. ‘Come feel this,’ the doctor said. I put my hand on her belly. My heart sank.’
“We were about to walk out the door with a good bill of health when the doctor asked me if I had any concerns. That’s when I remembered her large tummy. He immediately laid her down on the exam table and began feeling around on her belly. His face quickly changed to concern. I looked at my husband and said, ‘This can’t be good.’”
‘I asked, ‘Are you okay?’ We were greeted with one line. ‘Twins. Congrats.’ We immediately hopped on a plane. We were told to spike their bottles with caffeine. There were roadblocks.’
“We found a surrogate. The doctor started to gush about how lovely she was! ‘You have to woo her and make sure she picks you guys!’ Communication was sparse. We were constantly checking emails. I’ll never forget my husband kneeling as he opened one eagerly awaited message. He stared at the computer screen, speechless.”
‘My miscarriage crushed me. I screamed and cried in the nursery closet, clenching my son’s wubby so hard my palms bled. I was inconsolable.’
“Now you’re left exhausted, thinking what the hell did we just do? Am I an imposter because I failed? I flipped my mindset. It felt good to dive into something again, which started with ripping up all the carpet in the upstairs of our house. There was no sense in avoiding a room meant for a nursery when I could change it into a usable space.”
‘My husband tucked her in. She whispered something. I knew what was coming. I wrenched out of bed. I was a sleep-deprived new mom with an overworked husband and no family nearby.’
“I walked into the living room. Her proud, dancing eyes locked onto mine. She always cried. It became my mantra, whispered to myself on the darkest of days when I desperately needed a light at the end of the tunnel.”
‘I got pregnant too early in my relationship. I went home on my lunch break, positive test in my pocket. I was terrified to hand it over to him, but knew I had to. What were we going to do?’
“I started feeling ‘off’. I burst into tears. Everyone insisted I was just anxious. All I could do was pray my blood pressure went down, and my placenta hung in there. 30 seconds into my scheduled ultrasound, my doctor told me she was taking me to the operating room.”
