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âThe doctor calledâŠthe blood screen came back, itâs not good.â My heavy 22-week pregnant body fell to the floor. Itâs normally at this point people want to talk about their options.â
“At worst heâll never be able to feed himself and at best heâll mop the floors of a fast-food restaurant one day,’ he said with a wave of his hand, dismissing any room for hope.  Option 1 is you terminate the pregnancy. We donât do that here, but we have a clinic we can send you to.”
âHe looked me straight in the eye. ‘Iâm sure youâre aware this is a FINAL decision. Once I sign off, you cannot change your mind.â Theyâre a sibling group of 3, and 2 of them had special needs.â
ââMorning mama. Itâs adoption day.’ Butterflies filled my stomach. The girls and I dolled ourselves up to reflect what was on the inside. Joy and beauty. We went to the courthouse. Then, my lawyer pulled me aside. There had been a miscommunication. My heart dropped.â
âHoly FREAKING COW,â I yelled. FOUR babies?! Is that even possible? I wasn’t even doing IVF! There must be a mistake, I canât be having four babies! But there they were, quadruplets.’
“The doctor gasped, âOh.â I couldn’t bring myself to look. But when I did, there were 2 babies – twins! âOh my goodness, oh my goodness.’ But wait. Now it’s triplets?! How. Does. This. Happen. We would need a bigger house. Then, she replied, ‘âNo, all FOUR are healthy with heartbeats.â FOUR?!?!”
‘The phone rang. I thought to myself, ‘That’s her! It has to be her.’ Tears flooded my eyes. Her next words lit up my entire life. ‘I’m so glad you found me,’ she said.’
“I was told, ‘Your parents gave you away because they didn’t want you.’ I was devastated and began a mental game of ‘Who Could Be My Birth Mother?’ Everywhere I went, I looked to see who I might resemble. I analyzed the features of celebrities and passing strangers. Every birthday, I wondered if she was thinking about me, too.”
‘We were in complete amazement. We were also nervous having 4 babies in 13 months! I must have asked the question 5 times. No one thought it was me! Everyone was in disbelief.’
“Finally at 3 months I made an appointment with a doctor to figure out my problem. The appointment was on Friday. For some reason, Thursday night it dawned on me – I should take a pregnancy test. I took it 3 times due to my disbelief. Shock.”
‘I gave my last hug to my mom and sister-in-law, Taylor. Our car hit a puddle, hydroplaned, flipped 3 times and hit a tree.â
“Jacob talks of that night and the reality of how nightmarish it was. When he came to, my head was dripping blood and he thought there was no way I could still be alive.”
‘One person told me, âYour stomach is so nasty. How can you be confident and sexy when you look like that? Take care of that mess of a body.â Those harsh words stick. Ugly. Fat. Worthless.’
“Out of nowhere, I was being told I should âlose the baby weightâ so I could get back to the way things were before. WHAT? How I was before? Before what?”
âThe doctor said, âThe parents need to understand there is no chance of their daughter having a meaningful life.â I thought, âMy daughter has meant more to me in the last 2 days than you will EVER mean to me.â
“What would our daughter have to do to be meaningful? Would she have to talk? Would she have to be able to solve math problems or perform in the school play? Graduating? Getting a job? Getting married? At what point would the doctor say, ‘Ok, you are meaningful now.”
‘He was cute, and I was curious. When I read the message, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. ‘NO REAL MAN IS GOING TO WANT TO BE WITH A WOMAN WHO DOES THIS.’
“I started believing the lies. I had no business online dating – it was for people who have more freedom as a single person. I mean, I have a minivan! A minivan doesnât exactly scream, ‘Iâm dating material here,’ you know? What guy would want me?”
‘Can you come to the hospital right now to meet your daughter?’ It was relatively late on a Friday night, but we immediately recognized the number. We fought hard for Grace.’
“Less than 45 minutes after that call, directly from the hospital, she came home for the first time. It felt a bit chaotic and strange at the same time.”
