LOL
🤣
‘My wife recently went out of town for a couple of days for work and left me to run this household all by myself. What was I supposed to do again today? Referred back to the list left by my wife.’
“Kitchen is a disaster, house is a mess. It’s all good. I usually get this all cleaned up about an hour before my wife gets back from her trips.”
By LJ Herman -
‘When your photographer don’t PLAY! She wasn’t missing THAT shot.’ Photographer pushes stepmom out of the way for interrupting the perfect first kiss photo
“She kept apologizing to me thinking I was going to be upset about all of this.”
By LJ Herman -
‘When your wife think she’s slick!’ Wife requests $1,000 dollars for ‘wife services,’ but husband’s hilarious reply is perfect
“We regret to inform you that your request for payment has been rejected.”
By LJ Herman -
‘I ran upstairs, and the smell of putrid decay invaded my nostrils. I coughed and covered my nose, searching for the source of that smell. There, in the corner of the closet, sat a dark blue trash can.’
“I briefly and calmly asked my kids some leading questions, tactically trying to prevent the lies.”
By Eliza Murphy -
‘I let Addison pick out her dress for picture day. She chose a sparky green dress. I didn’t think anything of it – until I received the email with her proofs.’
“Y’all. THIS IS THE BEST MISTAKE I HAVE EVER DONE. There are 87 styles. I NEED THEM ALL.”
By LJ Herman -
‘Sometimes being a mother is enough to unite you. ‘You grew a human?’ ‘Yeah, did you?’ ‘Yeah! Let’s drink wine!’ But sometimes, just because we are moms, it doesn’t mean we HAVE to get along.’
“This is why I feel it is important, when choosing mom friends, there’s certain qualities I look for.”
By LJ Herman -
‘I was late picking them up. Upon dialing her number I realized I was halfway through an intersection of a red light. I let an ‘OH SH*T’ fly.’
“Oh, I had left a message all right.”
By Eliza Murphy -
‘It’s okay Molz, you got this!’ My DAD was in the delivery room when I birthed my first child. I looked up from the bed horrified he was actually watching this whole thing.
“He could have snuck out. But he chose to stay. And I chose to let him. The power of those decisions would not be fully understood until 3 years later.”
By Eliza Murphy -
‘Dear husband, This is why your wife doesn’t want to be touched in bed tonight.’
“Because while she was thrilled to do a poo from her morning coffee, her children came in and tried to see what was in the toilet bowl and throw their toys down there.”
By LJ Herman -
‘We have that number beat!’ Massachusetts fire department has 9 BABIES born in less than a year, ‘fire wives’ strike up healthy competition
“2 of which were even born on the same day! This department is on fire!”
By Eliza Murphy -
