‘As my due date gets closer, I thought about removing my body hair so I dont get shaved down by a nurse and die of embarrassment because she needs a whipper snipper to cut through the Sherwood Forest.’

’Are you in labor?,’ he asks holding the tongs. ‘No! Omg Im having a reaction to the cream!’ He looks at my face and sees half-hardened face mask and thinks I put the cream on my face, so he helpfully grabs a towel and starts rubbing my face while Im trying to push him away.”

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