“I’m not talking about the super-hyped wipe-warmer or overrated Diaper Genie. I’m talking about the simple pleasures that truly make us #blessed.”
“Boymoms are a sorority. Boymoms sort their laundry into three piles: whites, colors and ‘probably has some pee on it.'”
“Thinking back to my own youth, I don’t remember anyone suggesting we just sit outside the hardware store with a bucket and an expectation.”
“1. They’re not sure if they’ve heard Yanny or Laurel. This is a big one.”
First, acquire five cobras and put them in a soft bag.
“I roll over and force myself to open my eyes. ‘I have no pants,’ she says, inches from my face. ‘AGAIN.'”
“Seeing the hundreds of women flock to your side giving several ‘AMEN’S’ reiterates just how important this is to you.”
We give him credit for timing!
“As you can see, I didn’t send pictures of my car…I sent him pictures of myself!🙃”
“I run my Amazon Movie Reviews account on my bathroom breaks and didn’t want the ice to melt so I stupidly took a large soda with me.”