Lol

LOL

I have to go the bathroom, my husband says, handing me the diaperless baby with poop on his hands. He rushes off.: Mom quickly realizes she does NOT want another child after initially thinking she does thanks to friends precious newborn

“I met my friends new baby! I smelled the newborn goodness. I watched her little mouth open while she yawns and holds my thumb. Then, I felt a familiar sensation my ovaries start to go off like firecrackers, like my little uterus has pressed the red button and is screaming MAYDAY! MAYDAY! We need a fetus!! I message my husband saying, One more?'”

‘Last night, my soul left my body. Yes, I pooped out my soul and went to heaven. And now I’m a brand new man.’: Man hilariously shares Magnesium Citrate ‘near-death experience’ after eating 20 ‘nuclear wings’

“Until last night, I didn’t understand the term ‘shiz storm.’ I was looking down on myself from the sky, watching all of my internal organs liquefy and spray out like someone jumped on a balloon full of Nutella. After 4 straight hours of pooping, I passed out on the bathroom floor for 2 hours only to be awoken by my dog licking me to see if I was dead.”

Are you kidding me, mom?! Help me! Its an explosion of epic proportions. Do we salvage this outfit? Heck. NO!’: Mom hilariously recounts every mothers worst nightmare, the diaper blowout

“Its so goopy. Its E V E R Y W H E R E! In crevasses you didnt know existed. Its up the back, and down the legs. More creeps onto your hand with every wipe. Youre gagging. You pick baby up and hold him Lion King style, praying that none splatters onto the floor as you shuffle towards the sink. This isnt that bad this isnt that bad色 Youre trying not to be dramatic. But youre totally being dramatic.”

I need to apologize to my kids. I haven’t been the best mom. I wasn’t supposed to be a mom without him.: Widow says she was impatient, irritable after husbands death, admits she didnt know how to do it by herself

Someone along the way decided to label us as adults. Now were required to work and pay bills. We have to go to parent-teacher conferences and figure out Common Core. And some days, I just don’t want to. Some days, I just want to go back to when the nights were long, and the phone calls were longer. But, most importantly, I want to go back to when my husband was alive.

Im leaving for college soon. I wanted to make my little brother smile while I still can.: Big brothers goofy joke reminds us to make every moment count with our siblings

“I’m starting senior year of high school and my schedule allows me to get home before my little brother Max. One day, I ran to my room and threw together the most embarrassing outfit I could find. When Max got off the bus, he was very confused and embarrassed, which means my plan worked. I decided to do it again the next day, and the next. Soon, people started donating costumes and he began to really enjoy it. As an older brother, it’s all I could’ve hoped for. A smile on his face.”

‘They grow up fast. You’ll miss this someday.’ REALLY? I’m going to miss being tortured by my 2 kids wrestling like bear cubs in a grocery store?’: Mom says it’s okay to ‘not love every part of motherhood,’ admits her kids can be ‘brutally annoying’

“I was at the grocery store today with my kids when I said a little too loudly, NOT in my mom voice, ‘I love you, but you’re REALLY annoying me.’ A young couple walked by, with no kids. Well, that was brutally honest. I was judgingly told I’d miss this part of motherhood. I promise, I wont. And its totally OK to tell your kids theyre being annoying when youve broken up 19 fights before you even got to the store.”

Im shocked we havent been kicked out of my friends chemo. But the doctor likes us, Im certain of it.: Woman in hysterics with friend at chemo treatment, they refuse to let the monster consume us

From the moment we strode in, to the moment we left, we were in tears. I don’t mean little, drippy tears. I mean big, fat, mascara stained tears. Some whispered as they watched. The Indian Prince Doctor nervously smiled. The entire chemo ward waited to see what would happen next. We weren’t crying in pain. Oh no. We were laughing so hard we were crying. I remember being here with my husband after he was diagnosed. I was nervous how I’d feel. But you know – go big or go home.

Poo. Lathered ALL OVER my kids arms, legs, fingers car seat. It was everywhere. Poomagedon.’: Mom hilariously explains her hard day stuck inside poop sauna car

“While driving in the car with the boys, I smelled something RANK. Like, totally disgusting, something died in this car, what the heck is that smell? RANK. I assumed it was my tiniest munchkin digesting his McDonalds, but I was also genuinely concerned for the butt that was making that incredible smell. When we turned into our destination and I finally had the chance to get a good look, I saw it.”

Im a hot mess. Am I wearing workout leggings? You betcha! Do I plan to work out after this? Hellz to the no.: Mom hilariously warns fellow school parents to not be alarmed, but also, please dont get any closer

I have not showered today. Or yesterday. Its whatever. Ill be dragging one of my twin boys by his backpack as the other tries his darndest to run into the street, with not 1, but 2 additional babies on my hip. No, they arent also twins. Theyre 7 months apart. Its a long story, and its fun to watch the confusion wash over your face. You never know what kind of menagerie might pop out of this here clown car. Prepare to be amazed!

She looks so mad! As perfect as she was, I couldn’t help but laugh. She looked so angry.: Mom so thankful her daughter is healthy, strong after shocking Oligohydramnios diagnosis

I woke up, something didn’t feel right. Before I could even grasp what was happening, 10 people were in the room. I laid on the operating table thinking, Please be okay, little one, please. My husband was in the waiting room, no idea I was even in surgery. All I could think was, She is so tiny. I just held her in front of me. She looked so angry. She just stared at my husband and sons with tensed eyebrows, so incredibly inconvenienced by us. Its absolutely hilarious.

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