Lol

LOL

‘Elf on the Shelf is a HARD NO for me — Here’s why.’

“Feeling exhausted after a long day of, I dont know, being a parent? Is your only desire to drain a glass of chardonnay and sleep after working 8 hours and doing 4 loads of laundry? TOO BAD, MOM! WINKSY NEEDS A NEW, CLEVER HIDING SPOT!”

‘The first step is admitting you have a Christmas movie problem.’

“Where else besides Dancing with the Stars can you find all of your favorite sitcom actors from the 90s? Danica McKellar? Yes, please! Lacey Chabert? Ill take two! Is that Dean Cain? Grab your Santa suit and get in that phone booth, Superman. You can save my Christmas anytime!”

‘I call Leo in. He looks at it, cocks his little head to the side. And then, obviously, I yelled at it. The spider ran. Leo starts screaming. The louder he screams, the faster the spider pursued him.’

“Let me share with yall a massive mom fail I experienced. I noticed this toy for sale. Theyre called ‘Yellies’ and the louder you yell at it, the faster it goes. Being the mother of a naturally loud and boisterous kid, I thought it would be the perfect Christmas present…”

They lost touch. But he remained very dear to my dad, and years later, Dad asked if I could try to find him on the internet. I tried, but had no luck. Part of me was a bit relieved.

At the top of his planner was a name I didnt recognize. I called. Hello sir, my name is Sarah. Im the daughter of Eugene. He has you here in his phone book but Im not sure how you know him. Are you from his days in New Jersey? At that moment, my memory came back, and I could feel the surge of emotion in me.

‘Me: Kids, I’m going to go take a quick shower. Child: Can I have a snack? Me: No, I’m going to make dinner. Another child: Can you help me find my pink dragon with glittery wings?’

“Yet another child: Can I tell you about this new game that’s coming out that I really want for Christmas? Me: Yes, after my shower. Walks upstairs. Children follow. Child: How MANY pieces of candy can I have after dinner? Yet another child: So I can get that game for Christmas? Steps out of shower.”

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