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First time mom snuggles her sleeping newborn son during a photoshoot

‘Am I going to throw up? Surprise! Its s—t. There’s diarrhea all over. My husband is helping me with my hospital gown while simultaneously WIPING MY ASS.’: Mom hilariously recounts precipitous labor experience

“Doctor finally comes. ‘I NEED DRUGS! WHERE IS THE EPIDURAL MAN? TELL HIM I NEED HIM.’ I am screaming, begging, pleading. The doctor smiles at me while the nurses put an IV in my arm. They tell me they need to check to make sure my water broke. I spread my legs and they can already see my baby’s head. 7 centimeters dilated. F–k…me.”

‘Come spend Christmas with us!’ I always joke I hit the jackpot in the ex-wife department. She NEVER makes me feel like less of a parent. They’re the other half of our kick*ss parenting team.’: Mom shares first Christmas spent ‘as one big, happy, blended family’

“While I love to be dramatic and say we spent Christmas with my husband’s ex-wife and her husband, I will say we spent Christmas as one big, happy, blended family. And it was seriously one of the best Christmas Days I have ever had.”

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