Sad
😪
‘I was called into the office. My mom was there, waiting to pick me up. ‘We are leaving your dad,’ she said as we walked to the car. I loved him so much, and I was heartbroken.’
“When I got the autopsy report, it read: no evidence she had a child. That was hard. When people tell me she loved me, she just didn’t know how to show it, I think back. ’There was no evidence at the scene that suggested she had children.’”
‘She had dark curls behind her ears, a tiny chin, and the most precious rosebud lips. I had never seen anything more exquisitely beautiful than her. We will never know why.’
“My husband posted a photo of me with my pregnant belly in front of the window during a downpour complete with lightning the night before her due date. The caption read, ‘Watching the storm, waiting on the storm.’ If only we had known what we were in for.”
‘Shotgun!,’ they yelled as we left. Travis got in the front and Isaac got in behind me. They both fell asleep on the ride home. The next thing I remember is waking up in excruciating pain.’
“In one second, I became the kid from the accident. The boy whose brother died. To the prosecutor, I was the delinquent child who murdered his brother. The guy who survived the wreck that killed his brother.”
‘I walked to the balcony in a rage of frustration. ‘Jump,’ I said to myself. ‘Just do it, no one loves you, you don’t even love yourself, do it.’
“As I put my leg over the rail wanting to end my life, a soft, still breeze swung upon my head. The breeze brought me to my mother’s empty coffee cup, sitting half drunk on the table. I love you Josh,’ my mom said, kissing me.”
‘She replied, ‘Oh my god… it is unbelievable they let people like you work in a place like this! I want someone else to serve me, someone normal.’ That was the day it hit me that I would always be treated differently.’
“‘Are you thinking about a career in porn? You look like a pornstar now.’ My response was not good. I took the boy and beat him in front of our entire school. It earned me some peace for a time, but it didn’t last.”
I remember looking at the doctor and demanding him to leave the room. ‘Wow Crystal you can’t even grow a baby correctly.’ I looked at my husband and we both began to cry. ‘WHY MY BABY?’
‘Hearing the little baby I was growing inside me was already going through so much made me feel like the biggest failure.”
‘Every night, I put a sign on our bedroom door that read, ‘come in and kiss me on the cheek. I didn’t cheat on you.’ I accepted his marriage proposal after 2 months. Almost immediately after we were married, the abuse began.’
“I thought I hit the boyfriend jackpot, my knight in shining armor. He wined and dined me and spoiled me rotten. Within 2 weeks he decided it was unbearable to be away from me and was going to pack up his life and everything in it to be with me.”
‘A nurse grabbed my hand. ‘I’m right here,’ she squeezed tightly and said. I remember looking around the room to find some sense of peace.’
“When they discovered my diagnosis, my hospital room erupted into chaos as nurses rushed in. I remember being filled with fear as they wheeled me away. But when the world seemed so dark, our best friends would step in and help bring us back into the light.”
‘I was staring at a naked picture of myself on my father’s computer. ‘What the heck?,’ I said out loud, the last words before rage overtook my body.’
“I walked into the living room where they both sat. ‘I love you. I don’t blame you. I am here to protect you,’ I told my mother. My father looked me dead in the eyes. He was sitting on the couch with his computer screen opened before him. He stared at me blankly. ‘What do I need to show her?’”
‘My fingers were numb, but I blamed the cold weather. I had feelings of rug burn across my legs. ‘Mommy, my chest feels funny.’ Those were the last words she would hear me say.’
“My mom held me and then boom! I was crying ‘mom’ as I hit the floor. I took her phone and typed, ‘Pull the plug.’ She cried and cried, and I remember her saying, ‘I’m not gonna let you die.’”
