Sad
😪
‘I spent my whole life wanting time to speed up, wanting to be somewhere else. Now, here I am. Laying in my 2-year-old’s room, staring at him with tears rolling down my face.’
“In high school, I couldn’t wait to get to college. When I got to college I couldn’t wait to be a working adult. When I fell In love, I couldn’t wait to get married. When all of that happened, I couldn’t wait to start a family. Now, it’s just my baby in my arms. I rock him for ME.”
‘This will be my Dad’s last parade. His heart is failing. All he talks about is the Memorial Day Parade – ‘Are you coming? I’ll be in my uniform.’
“We were unsure how to tell him he’s too weak to ride through the parade. Then we made the decision – we are going for it. We are putting him in his uniform and into a car, with a nurse, so one last time, he can see what he and his beloved wife did for our little town.”
‘I asked for $20 for diapers. My husband called me a ‘pathetic gold-digger’. It felt like a cruel joke. Post-labor, I became a full-time mom while he worked. We made this decision TOGETHER.’
“I felt my blood boiling. ‘Was this your plan all along? Mooch off me while you do NOTHING all day.’ He followed me into the bedroom. Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.”
‘I ran to the laundry room. Something told me to put my hands in the washing machine. I resisted. No way. Are you kidding me? Of course he is not in the washing machine.’
“I had a top loading washer and always let Ollie help me throw a few items in – don’t most moms let their kids help? I called his name. No answer. Silence. Nothing. The air began to be very thick. How could this have happened with me only 15 feet away, in the same house?!”
‘He was out at a restaurant with my brother. The next morning, my entire life was over. ‘Caroline. He’s not breathing.’ I snapped back, ‘What? What are you talking about?’
“Someone I love dearly timidly asked, ‘Did he do those things regularly?’ I considered keeping his secret. I chose not to disclose WHY he died. I told people, tight-lipped, ‘He died in his sleep.’ I held onto the shame and guilt. ‘I’ll do this for you,’ I thought.”
‘Their mom unexpectedly passed. My heart hurt for them, but inside I was glad she wouldn’t fight us for them anymore.’ Family fosters 2 teens who they ‘loved instantly’ despite troubled past
“We were looking into adoption. It was dicey. Their mom was doing JUST enough to make it seem like she was on track to get them home, but barely. And then we got the news. We didn’t think much of the warning signs.”
‘Are you at work? Can you call me?’ I’m thinking, ‘Today is the day I get to meet Abigail!’ Now I’m over-excited! I call, her tone is bleak, then she begins to cry. ‘Abigail didn’t make it.’
“The unthinkable happened. Abigail’s mother no longer wanted to be around me. I was a reminder of our trauma. All together, we lost 3 children in this pregnancy. Who am I to tell her how she should feel?”
‘I’m 25 years old and this is my first baby. The doctor showed us the ultrasound, and I could barely look. I couldn’t even look at my husband. I felt paralyzed.’
”When Joshua was born, there was no cry. His umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and the doctor had to pry it off piece by piece. The second I saw him, I knew. At that moment, everything changed.”
‘At 19, I got pregnant and relapsed. My son wasn’t enough to stop me. I continued to use behind his back. I went back to hiding it, and was caught by my son’s father.’
“My friend introduced me to a better way to get high: injecting. He left when I got pregnant. I looked at myself in the mirror. ‘What are you doing? You are worth so much more.’ I wanted my kids to have love, but first, I had to find it myself.”
‘I heard two words: ‘fugitive felon.’ I caught my son’s eye. His shackles made my stomach flutter uncontrollably. His public defender smoothed her beige suit, and approached him.’
“The severely criminal charge was, in fact, a reference to my 24-year-old. I never imagined that term would apply to him. An unexpected call helped me through his transfer to prison. It had been weeks without contact when I answered the unfamiliar number. I fought back tears. He told me how much my son loved me.”
