😪

Sad

Sad

‘Step right up!’ my teacher said. I half shook my head no, turning pink. I slowly rose, my legs glued together. The floodgates opened. I was 5 feet from the board when someone shouted, ‘OH MY GOD!’

“Queue the tears. Oh, those embarrassing tears. I was mortified. I’d never been given the period talk. My parents were too uncomfortable to explain. And to make matters worse… you guessed it. I was wearing white jeans. WHITE. I never expected what would happen next. Not in a million years.”

‘I was asked if I had any questions. All I could manage to mumble was, ‘Will I lose my hair?’ I was 16. I was in high school. I was a girl. I couldn’t be bald. I just couldn’t.’

“Three words. That’s all it took. Three simple words. Everything was happening too fast. I just sat there, staring at the wall, trying not cry. When homecoming came, I had this beautiful red dress. I put on heels, makeup. Then I looked in the mirror and crumbled to the ground. What was I thinking? I looked ridiculous. I looked sick.”

‘My dad was married and had an affair with my mom. I became the product of their affair. On the outside, we looked normal. But behind closed doors, dark secrets hid. My life quickly took a turn.’

“My younger sister woke up while it was happening. She said, ‘Daddy can you do that to me like you do to Shannon?’ He told her, ‘No it’s only for her.’ The hardest words to swallow came from my own mother. I was only in 4th grade and it tore me apart. I still hear and feel him breathing down my neck.”

‘In 2 weeks, you will meet the love of your life. And when you do, you will know it.’ But then came a warning. ‘You must do the right thing, or you will be cursed.’ He winked, and walked away.’

“That’s when our eyes met. It was like time stopped. It was like the music on the dance floor silenced, and all I could hear was my own heartbeat. I still remember what the room smelled like. I couldn’t look away. I was frozen. This was him. I knew it, and felt it, from my head to my feet.”

‘She laid there. I stroked her head, closed her eyes, kissed her. I removed her collar, and told her one last time, ‘I love you so much.’ I filled my pockets with tissues, and walked out.’

“A lady behind me in line was excited to see her. After a few head pets, the lady told her to ‘have a good day.’ I almost lost it. I almost fell to the floor. The cashier went to hand me my receipt and I missed. The tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t grab a receipt. I couldn’t speak.”

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