Sad
😪
‘My doctors discharged me early so I could chase behind the ambulance that held my tiniest love inside. My biggest fear is living in a world without her.’
“I spent years praying for a baby and now my only child was being diagnosed with a life-threatening condition. You can only imagine the feelings I had. Like most people who have questions, I took to Google.”
‘The doctor called…the blood screen came back, it’s not good.’ My heavy 22-week pregnant body fell to the floor. It’s normally at this point people want to talk about their options.’
“At worst he’ll never be able to feed himself and at best he’ll mop the floors of a fast-food restaurant one day,’ he said with a wave of his hand, dismissing any room for hope. Option 1 is you terminate the pregnancy. We don’t do that here, but we have a clinic we can send you to.”
‘I felt cold hands. He was a pastor. I laid there, stiff and mute, pretending to be asleep. ‘Get used to this. Your mom agrees it’s okay. It’s in the Bible.’
“‘I’ve gotten a vasectomy. That means you can’t get pregnant. You don’t need to worry about anything.’ He slipped 20 dollars in my pocket. ‘You’ve done good,’ he said. ‘We’re sending you back to your biological family.’ I was confused and afraid.”
‘My sister arrived to find me trying to clean up another bladder accident. She pulled out a pack of Depends. ‘Well I guess you WILL be needing these!’ I reluctantly took the pack from her, and put on the adult diaper.’
“I’m scared of finding out what’s really wrong with me; I’m scared of how fast my health is declining; I’m scared I won’t be able to be the super mom and wife I have been; I’m scared because I’m not able to work; I’m just scared!”
‘I cried when I told you. I knew it was my fault. You looked at me like you wanted to say you loved me, one last time. A ping hit my chest. I was careful with you.’
“I trusted you. I did everything right. I’m finally letting go. When you find that girl you’re in love with, tell her she’s the luckiest girl in the world. Please take better care of her than you did me.”
‘It feels like a violation of your body. The doctor or assistant may remind you, ‘It’s nothing different than sex, have you never had sex before?’
“With the huge population of our country these doctors take innocent people for a ride, sometimes even during the pregnancy or childbirth.”
‘I got with my boyfriend in July. By November, I was pregnant. We had been ‘irresponsible.’ We dealt with it. I convinced myself I’d killed my baby. I couldn’t look at my daughter without crying.’
“The thing is, I also got pregnant many years before at age 24. It was the first time I’d had unprotected sex, and I had split up with the father. Having a termination was my only option. This has hugely troubled me the past 3 years, but I’m not ashamed to talk about it.”
‘It was 6 a.m. I froze. ‘That’s weird. She never calls this early.’ When I arrived, he kept holding his stomach. Mom’s ALWAYS know what’s wrong, but she couldn’t figure this one out.’
“He didn’t say much. I couldn’t get any words out. He ran up and gave me a light little poke before running away. All I could think was, ‘Why? He’s only 14.'”
‘I looked to the corner of my room and saw him sitting there. ‘No,’ I thought to myself. ‘No, I will not do this.’ I looked back to the bed. Still empty. And then it happened. I fell to my knees.’
“I let the nightmare play out. I screamed. I cried harder than I ever have. And as suddenly as it came, it was gone. The room was still. It was quiet. I looked back to the corner. But he was still there. He was still sitting there, watching.”
‘My boyfriend woke me. ‘He is in the house.’ I checked the doors, all locked. I climbed back into bed. ‘I just saw him in the hall!’ I got up again. He was there. We heard a loud BOOM!’
“We started arguing and it woke my son up. Excited to see his dad, he ran to him. He picked him up, turned and walked out. He just took my son! I was in shock. She knew. She told me to pack a small bag and get the hell outta there.”
