Surprise!
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‘The neck of my womb was open and was 100% effaced. I locked myself in my bathroom and refused to talk to my partner, the midwives or doctors.’
“My baby was struggling through contractions and distorting her head trying to get out. I screamed, cried, swore and kicked as I couldn’t understand what was going on.”
‘When you hear, ‘twin one is fine, but…’ your life is about to change. When I finally saw him after his birth, I could hardly process the absence. It was a blank, featureless canvas.’
“When I woke hours later, my partner and I were met by the serious face of one of the pediatricians. There is no way to explain how I felt at that moment, other than devastated. I was convinced I must have done something during my pregnancy to cause this.”
‘If she says mama, I won’t be able to go through with it.’ I never would have imagined the child we adopted would be my own cousin.’
“She never told him she was pregnant with me. To this day, he has absolutely no idea I exist.”
‘He said, ‘If I die. Nathan is the only person allowed to raise my daughter.’ What I didn’t know was how serious he took that statement.’
“I left the courtroom that day and did not see him for 9 months. He never showed up at the court ordered pick up. He never called. He had disappeared.”
‘She turned the screen towards us. ‘Here is baby number 1, here is baby number 2…’ ‘PLEASE STOP COUNTING!,’ is all I could manage to say. The room fell quiet.’
“How could this be happening? How could we possibly be expecting TWO more babies just 4 MONTHS after the birth of our son? But it was. It was a punch in a gut. The kind of news that took your breath away.”
‘Then came the call. ‘Come to NYC and get your daughter. She’ll land in 3 days!’ We immediately jumped on the plane, but then a hiccup.’
“Just 2 days later we got a text in our agency group. ‘Who was the family that was interested in a deaf child?’ Well that was us, and now we are going to adopt 2 girls?! No, we couldn’t do that. So we had a HUGE decision to make.”
‘I heard my name. ‘Are you Suzanne?’ A woman approached me. I was confused, even scared I had done something wrong. ‘Yes?,’ I said nervously.’
“He cried for what felt like 24 straight hours. He felt like an idiot for believing. I didn’t have all the answers. I didn’t really have any.”
‘The best course of action will be to do a total hysterectomy,’ the doctor said, staring at me. ‘But I’m only 29!,’ I gasped in disbelief.’
“Well, unfortunately we have to do it now. I’d call your husband. If he starts now, he might get here just in time. Now hop in the shower and give yourself a good scrub with this soap.”
‘Less than 10 seconds changed everything. I was unable to get up, despite how hard I tried. Shock settled in. I overheard the words of some hospital tech, ‘SHATTERED!’ What did that mean?’
“I am not a fan of public restrooms but knew I would be on the road. That ‘smart’ decision changed my life forever.”
‘He was blue, and his skin was covered with deep purple spots. He wasn’t crying. The whole room was especially quiet.’
“They had no clue what was going on with his skin. They thought maybe I had passed on an infection. Our nurse crouched down next to me. ‘This is going to get better. We will get through this.'”
