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Surprise

Surprise!

‘My friends invited me for a weekend getaway. I got a few itchy bites. ‘Are you pregnant?’ ‘Maybe it’s bacterial?’ This was a disease I had never heard of. There is NO cure for it.’

“I assumed it was the flu. I drank plenty of fluids and stayed in bed. But I wasn’t getting better. I had shooting pains all the way up my spine, as if someone was sawing me open. I went back to the doctor. ‘I think it’s food poisoning.’ ‘Maybe cancer.’ ‘HIV.’ ‘Is it possible you’re pregnant?’ No.”

‘You’re going to have to get off Facebook, the sadness is overwhelming and it’s time for you to take a break.’ My heart broke every day. It was way too close to home.’

“‘Bridgette is going to need more than a lemonade stand, we need to do something to make her smile and raise money.’ She pointed to one of the dresses and said ‘Mom these dresses are beautiful, maybe the lady who makes these can make mine?’ I looked up the designers and with a hopeful heart we reached out.”

‘He’s LOST. HIS. MIND. ‘What in the actual hell are you doing?’ Then I saw it. The glassy eyes.’: Wife hilariously recalls first time she ever saw her husband drunk

“I peek into the bathroom. He is NAKED, on the toilet with his face in a garbage can. He hears me shriek with laughter and screams, ‘CLOSE THE DOOR DANIELLE!!’ Me: ‘You drink a little too much?’ Justin: ‘NO! It was the chicken wings.’ I am DOUBLED OVER laughing at how ridiculous this is, and how stupid he thinks I am.”

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