Touching

Touching

‘Step right up!’ my teacher said. I half shook my head no, turning pink. I slowly rose, my legs glued together. The floodgates opened. I was 5 feet from the board when someone shouted, ‘OH MY GOD!’

“Queue the tears. Oh, those embarrassing tears. I was mortified. I’d never been given the period talk. My parents were too uncomfortable to explain. And to make matters worse you guessed it. I was wearing white jeans. WHITE. I never expected what would happen next. Not in a million years.”

‘Wow, thats so cool I have 2 moms! May I have a snack?, was his reaction at age 5. Arent you worried theyll take the boys back? We are not a bit worried. We told him he grew up in her tummy.’

And then we met her – this gorgeous strawberry blond young lady with the most beautiful green eyes looking at us from across the table. She had one question for us. Our knees were shaking just getting the news. We were not convinced it would be wonderful at all. We were intimidated and scared.

‘I was sent home alone in an Uber in the middle of the night. ‘Just tell me your name!’ I couldn’t remember for the life of me what it was. All I could do was cry. That’s the only thing I remembered how to do.’

“I’ll never forget how I felt. I seemed hungover, except that wasn’t the case. My doctor told me, ‘Have you ever thought that it might be all in your head?’ Everything began to take a turn. I was once the quick-witted friend who always had a joke. Now I was the girl in the back of the classroom, crying because I didnt know how to be a person anymore.”

‘I was asked if I had any questions. All I could manage to mumble was, Will I lose my hair? I was 16. I was in high school. I was a girl. I couldnt be bald. I just couldnt.’

“Three words. That’s all it took. Three simple words. Everything was happening too fast. I just sat there, staring at the wall, trying not cry. When homecoming came, I had this beautiful red dress. I put on heels, makeup. Then I looked in the mirror and crumbled to the ground. What was I thinking? I looked ridiculous. I looked sick.”

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