‘Sarah never even remembers a snack for her kid.’ I couldn’t believe all the crap they were talking about their ‘friend.’: Mom overhears rude comments on playground, insists ‘mom guilt’ is already intense, no need to amplify ‘shame’

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“Today at the playground, I heard a group of moms who must have been the ambassadors of the Mom Shame Committee.

I could not believe all the crap they were talking about this woman who seemed to be their ‘friend.’

I didn’t say anything to them, but after thinking about it – here is what I wish I would have said.

  1. Motherhood is not a competitive sport, but if it were, other moms would be your teammates, not your rivals.
  2. I need you to know that your children are not perfect. The quicker you can get that in your head, the better. They will make messes and tell lies, and before they even start Kindergarten, they will leave you wondering how often a good mother should visit her child in the juvenile detention center.
  3. Your kids are barely walking. You are not qualified to judge ANYONE, much less those of us with older kids. There is chaos in every single age and stage.
  4. When you stop comparing and tearing other moms down, you can use that energy to build friendships with them.

Complaining to each other about the crazy thing your kid did is MUCH more satisfying than dishing about how ‘Sarah never even remembers a snack for her kid.’

Trust me, conversations that center around the truth and how insane your child is – those conversations will give you hope that everything is normal and might just turn out ok.

  1. Us moms have this intense brand of guilt. Whatever you have to say about how another mom is failing, I guarantee that mom is feeling guilt and shame for it already. We don’t need any help reliving our inadequacies.

ACTUALLY, I would probably never say any of this. If I think back hard enough, I may have had moments of being a bit of a mom gossip too, back when I had one easy baby and thought I knew everything about parenting. What a fool I was!

If I saw those same moms out again, I would bite my tongue and smile remembering that we all knew how to be the perfect parent, before we actually tried to do it.

Motherhood has a funny way of humbling us all.”


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This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Stephanie Hollifield of Momstrosity. It originally appeared on their Facebook page. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more powerful stories like this:

‘I don’t want you with those black kids,’ a mom whispered at the park. Being white, she didn’t know they’re MINE.’: Mom ‘livid’ after woman interrupts ‘innocent play time’ with hate, encourages us to ‘intervene, love one another’

‘I yelled, ‘Hey! What the HELL ARE YOU DOING?!’ The kid looked at me, stuck out his tongue and ran off. I almost turned into Medusa.’

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