“My ears started to burn. My lips tingled. My thoughts consumed me. My brain went into overdrive. The voice inside my head started panicking and screaming into my itchy ear, ‘That’s it, you’re gonna die.’ I had to act quickly before my throat closed and my hands seized. Then, I saw it. It took my breath away.”
‘I had a great 4th of July. Except for the part where I almost died. I ate macaroni salad. I didn’t realize it was different, until I was SURE I tasted fish. Not just fish, but CRAB. I was convinced of it.’
‘I bought a new bathing suit. I know it’s dumb, but this is what I do because I’m a masochist.’ Mom’s HILARIOUS adventures preparing for vacation
“It’s a high-waisted bottom which is like the mullet of swimwear. I didn’t try it on because no one needs to pick me up from the Marshall’s changing room floor, and like I said, I AM A WOMAN OF FAITH.”
4th of July is for Lovers: Single mom hits ‘JACKPOT’ after falling ‘hard’ for her hilarious patriotic model
“I remember my daughter saying, ‘Why don’t you date him Mom? I think he like likes you.’ We are now engaged to be married!”
