“I don’t let very many people into our lives, mostly because I’m spent. And one of the reasons is because of things like ‘at least.’ When you ‘at least’ me as a complex parent, I feel minimized. I feel unheard. I feel compared. If a person gives you a glimpse of their challenges, honor their experience. Validate them. Meet them where they are. And if you can’t think of anything else to say, ‘Can I get you coffee or tea?’ always works.”
‘At least he doesn’t…’ As a special needs parent, I hear this all the time. Each one takes a little slice out of me I can’t fill back in.’: Special needs mom urges you to ‘validate’ those who ‘give you a glimpse of their challenges’
‘Why doesn’t she leave?’ She thinks if she just tries harder, if she’s a better wife and mom, he wouldn’t get so angry.’: Domestic abuse survivor pens PSA, ‘we need your love, not judgement’
“He has threatened to tell the judge she is a bad mom and will take away her kids. He has taken away her money and convinced her she cannot make it on her own. He has told her if she tries, he will kill her or her family. He has brainwashed her to think it’s all her fault.”
‘I grabbed mascara to hide my puffy eyes. ‘But you’re pretty enough, mama.’ The words stopped everything.’: Mom reminds us it’s okay to ‘lower your standards every now and then’
“‘Let mama throw on some clothes and put makeup on.’ Some days, I embrace the chaos. I laugh it off. It’s fine. This was not one of those days. I felt the tears welling in my eyes. There I was, day 3 of dry shampoo, on my knees in my 6-year-old’s closet 10 minutes before we had to leave. My toddler sitting atop the kitchen table, spilling milk from his brother’s cereal while the dogs licked the sticky floor. The words came from the other side of my bedroom door. I stopped frantically searching for a bobby pin. I just stopped.”
‘Some days, I’m not even a human. I’m a crystal ball to ask, ‘Where’s my other sock? What’s for dinner?’: Mom shares touching proof ‘invisible mothers’ are ‘seen’ after friend’s act of kindness
“No one can see if I’m on the phone, cooking, sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner. Some days I’m only a pair of hands, nothing more! ‘Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?’ I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ A satellite guide to answer, ‘What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m the invisible mom.”
‘I’m feeling upset. I need to hide my face so people won’t see,’ my 4-year old cried. ‘I just want to be by myself for a minute.’: Mom stresses importance of ‘honoring needs’ to build trust, love
“She laid her head down in the booth to hide her face and I ate my chips and salsa. I didn’t yell. I didn’t whisper threats. I didn’t demand she pull it together when the other restaurant patrons looked our way. She was clear about what she needed. I let her have it. She needed a minute, you guys. Sometimes, we all need a minute.”
‘Andrea, I’d choose you every day for the rest of my life. I’m blessed you choose me.’ He was being airlifted, paralyzed from the chest down, fighting for his life.’: Woman recalls love story between herself and man she nursed
“Seven years after Chad had his accident, I walked up to his house. I had never done work like this before. I was young, nervous, and had no idea what to expect. All I knew was he needed help and I needed work.”
‘My son chooses to wear makeup, dresses. ‘But…what if he catches The Gay?’ Well, then I’ll have a gay son. Simple as that. It’s a non-issue.’: Mom embraces son’s fluid gender expression, ‘it’s their body, their choice’
“My son has had autonomy since he was a toddler. As he grows, he makes as many decisions about his own body as possible. Our only limits are safety and hygiene. We often hear, ‘…But..but…but…it’s PINK!’ ‘Why don’t you just cut your hair like a boy?!’ ‘That’s for girls, you don’t want that!’ He informs them with absolute integrity, ‘No, it’s for PEOPLE!’”
‘I seriously spent 10 minutes scrubbing my dootie hand and crying. My dog has been tormenting me for 7 seven years.’: Mom shares hilarious story of ‘angry pooter’ dog, ‘family is familly, no matter what’
“Frank is an angry pooter. Things he has pooted on when mad at me: my pillow, bed, couch, shoes, literally a pack of crackers, inside my purse, in my suitcase, and on top of a makeup bag. His aim is remarkable for a dog that takes multiple tries to jump on the couch and often falls off while licking his own butthole.”
‘I missed my daughter’s honor roll assembly so I could go for a walk and burn off anxiety. It’s not selfish, it’s called self-love.’: Woman responds to mom shamers, ‘taking care of ourselves IS taking care of our kids’
“I was struggling deep with anxiety and had a long work day ahead of me. I needed a break. The next day, several moms at school asked me why I wasn’t there with my husband and my mom who was in town visiting. Women were judging me. So much so that they felt the need to privately message me to insult me.”
‘I’m bisexual.’ My husband looked at me. ‘Yeah, I figured.’ I laughed. ‘Was it that obvious?’ He smiled. ‘I could guess.’: Couple realizes their mixed-orientation marriage has given them more ‘love, acceptance, intimacy’ than many couples
“When my husband and I got married, he thought he was marrying a heterosexual woman. I thought that, too. ‘Is this weirding you out?’ I had a streak of fear. I ordered my first chest binder, a vest, and slacks. My husband saw me trying it on in our bedroom. ‘Oh cool, you remembered to leave the bottom button of the vest undone!’ He exclaimed. ‘Can I borrow the tie you wore at our wedding?’ He helped me tie the tie. ‘You look good,’ he winked. That night, he helped me buzz my hair.”
