“By the time my son reached Pre-K, there was no denying he was truly one fabulous little guy. People have asked me for years if Sam is gay or transgender. My response? ‘Sam is a child, and if I have anything to do with it, he’ll be a happy one.’”
‘The kid never leaves home without his purse. He spends his money on makeup, and loves all things pink and sparkly.’ Mom supports her 10-year-old non-binary son and ‘all his fabulousness’
‘I told a friend how excited I am for my daughter to see The Little Mermaid movie. I was so proud my daughter would see herself in Ariel, a beautiful Black princess.’
“My friend didn’t understand the big deal. She ‘doesn’t see color.’ She thinks it doesn’t matter what race or ethnicity characters are, because we are all ‘the same.’ Can I be honest? You. Are. Wrong.”
‘Are you a boy or a girl?’ My daughter responded with the craziest look on her face. ‘I’m a girl!’ I knew she was gay. I always knew she was ‘different.’
“By the time she was 4, her tomboy phase became something different. I remember getting her ready for school. ‘Mom, I want to dress like a girl today!,’ she said. I went out to the living room and told my husband to ‘not make a big deal about what she was wearing.’ He was her protector.”
‘I peeked in her bedroom. As I walked closer, I looked at her white feet and knew something was wrong. My brain snapped.’ Mother tragically loses daughter to Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood
“‘I’m sorry, we have to do this when a child dies in the home. It’s so hard for you,’ the investigator said. They found no cause of death. It is so rare, and the last thing I want to do is cause fear in someone else, but it’s a very real and possible thing that can happen.”
‘What did you do to my child?! She’s telling me she’s our SON.’ That was the angry text I got from my ex-wife.’
“‘Do I need to start calling my beautiful little girl my son?’ First, while crying, I sent an admittedly angry reply back. Then I went back inside, dried my eyes, and woke her up. I knew my daughter was ‘different’ for a long time.”
‘My dad hates me,’ the girl whispered in my ear with a sullen look on her face. It was one of the first hugs I gave.’
“An hour later, a girl pointed to my shirt. ‘Hey, free dad hugs!’ The look on her face said everything I needed to know. She hugged me as if she hadn’t seen me in years. She walked away in tears, without ever saying a word. I’m nobody special. I’m just a regular dad.”
‘My mother-in-law wore a wedding dress to MY wedding. I didn’t think to ask what she planned to wear. It ended without anyone being shoved into the champagne fountain.’
“The morning of the wedding, all the women in the bridal party crammed into a tiny room in the church. Then, she walks in. I see it. My sister kept looking at me, then my mother-in-law, then the cop the venue made us hire. She pulled me aside, hoping I didn’t go for his taser.”
‘The first time my child was made fun of, he was 5 months old. I never excepted them to target a baby.’
“I’ll never forget where we were: the deli line at our local grocery store. I had just ordered a pound of rotisserie smoked turkey and looked over to find a middle-aged woman snickering and pointing at my son. I ran out of the store before the tears came.”
‘My daughter’s friends told her they don’t like ‘those’ people. I’ve witnessed parents make their children leave the playground when my Black son showed up.’
“I can’t believe I was blind to this for so long. I know this makes my white friends uncomfortable. I am embarrassed it took my child being treated poorly for me to listen. But what I now know, I can’t unknow.”
‘I’ve been called the ‘F’ word, queer, mental or ‘needing to get my plumbing checked out’ because I am gay. I ran for mayor. I don’t want to be thought of as that ‘gay dad.’
“My husband and I wanted to adopt a child of our own. Little did we know we would get two children instead of one. Elected officials even had city staff bully my family as I was running for mayor.”
