addict

‘I found you barely breathing. Lifeless, sleeved roll up, hunched over, gasping for air. I shook you and shook you. I was numb.’: Woman’s bittersweet realization loving heroin addict ex-boyfriend, ‘saving you will always be my best decision’

“I was so focused on not letting heroin kill you, I almost let it kill me. You pushed through to one year sober. But you decided to share that milestone with someone else. Forget about me and our life together. After everything we went through, you cut off communication with me through a text. You told me you were seeing someone else through a single text. That was all I deserved to you. ‘We can’t do this anymore.’ That was the most I could get out of you.”

‘He’s using again. I’m heartbroken. If you see him, give him a hug. Say a prayer. Tell him his mom misses him.’: Mom painfully describes loving her addict son, ‘It hurts. I want a do-over. I want my son back.’

“The saddest part is, I know he wants to stop this. I’ve attended too many funerals of good kids who couldn’t win against this monster. I’ve lost my son, but there hasn’t been a funeral. He is no longer there. I can see him, yet I mourn for him every day. It hurts. I want a do over. I want a second chance to protect him from this monster. I want my son back.”

‘I woke up in a hospital bed. There was a $100 bill on the bedside table with a note that said, ‘GO HOME.’ My miscarriage left me almost dead.’: Woman quits alcohol and drugs ‘cold turkey’ after addict husband’s death

“I had never smoked a cigarette, never drank a beer, never had a real boyfriend. I was a naïve, 17-year-old virgin. I went to a party with my friends. I paid the guy at the door $5 dollars. ‘The punch is in the kitchen, don’t lose your cup.’ I was found on steps, lying in a pool of vomit. I fell off the Dean’s List. Then I met the man I would marry. I had a front-row seat to the most terrifying horror show imaginable. I was penniless, homeless, trickin’ on Main South for a 40 piece.”

‘I keep telling them to give up on you. I don’t know why they won’t listen.’ The officer grabbed my black and blue arms. I was a walking zombie.’: Former addict transforms her life, ‘I was never hopeless. I was never unworthy.’

“The electricity had been turned off. I was enrolled in Cosmetology school, but hadn’t gone in weeks. I was so tired. My grandparents were on vacation, so I thought I’d go to their house and shower. My intentions were good. I sat in their shower for what felt like an eternity. I remember each individual drop of water hitting my body as I cried out to die. I was fighting the demons, doomed to lose. I lost that day. I didn’t go to school. Instead, I stole $7,000 worth of jewelry from my grandmother.”

‘No, no, no.’ I was emptying the pockets in his jeans to wash them. I felt something small, cold. I knew what it was immediately. ‘How could he?’: Single mom learns of partner’s drug addiction while pregnant, ‘I begged him to love our baby’

“He began disappearing for days. He had no care at all about my pregnancy. I knew something was going on. Little did I know, I’d get the shock of my life. I was excited he agreed to come home for dinner. As I was emptying the pockets in his jeans for laundry, I knew what it was immediately. A glass container used to store drugs. ‘How could he?’ I thought. I sat there crying, holding so tightly to my baby bump, telling her not to worry, I would fix her dad before she got here.”

‘I’m not going to sugar coat it. His file is so big, no one will even look at it anymore.’ He was pencil thin, eyes sunken so deep. He was ours.’: Couple adopts 16-year-old runaway after his birth mom called police on him, ‘His story didn’t end how the world told him it would’

“She was dancing around the facts, and we could tell. She wanted to see if we would scare. He’d run from his previous placement, was failing all of his classes. She had no other place to turn. We asked to FaceTime him. We saw the emptiness in his eyes and the face of a kid who didn’t even know what hope was. He couldn’t make eye contact. His skin was covered with sores, his hands curled and tremored. He was 15. He was ours. He told us the drugs he’d done, the girls he’d been with, and the things he’d seen, and I couldn’t help but see the beginnings of a boy who would leave that past behind.”

‘She laid in a pretty blue dress with a scarf around her neck to cover her scars. She was cold and stiff. It didn’t look like her, but I knew it was.’: Woman loses 19-year-old sister to suicide at airport on way to rehab, ‘She was so close. She was on the plane’

“He was sobbing. ‘Abigail…’ My heart dropped. ‘Dad, what the heck is going on?’ He responded, ‘I think your sister was arrested. She called and said the cops were after her. Then the call dropped. I haven’t heard from her since.’ She was last seen at the Denver International Airport. My dad escorted her to security where she was catching a plane to rehab. The reality of what happened hurts too much to face. I find myself getting so angry at her. She was so close. She was on the plane.”

‘Daddy, I choose MY mommy.’ He snuck into my bedroom and set a basket of clothes on fire. He cried with me.’: Woman loses both parents to addiction, re-claims her life, ‘I chose my own path’

“At 11, I was getting ready for school when I heard a knock. I opened to blue lights, police closing in. My parents were caught in a drug bust and a reporter was catching it all on camera. At first, my mom didn’t want to be seen ‘behind bars.’ Tears just rolled down both our faces. She put her hand against the glass, and I put my hand against hers. Kids talked about plans for the weekend, homework. I’d write letters to my mom, telling her how much I loved and missed her, and how I wished I could have some of her spaghetti.”

‘You and I will never speak again,’ I told my mother. She’d sleep nude next to me, crowning me the ‘man of the house.’: Man overcomes child abuse, trauma, ‘The person in that mirror was not the real me, and I knew it’

“On my birthday, I put a gun in my mouth as my girlfriend pounded on the bathroom door begging me not to kill myself. I will never forget the taste of the cold metal against my tongue. I pulled the trigger, but the pin didn’t strike the bullet casing—a failure to fire. I had guns in my life since I was a child and I will never understand why that round malfunctioned. I had to accept I’d survived some of the most toxic environments imaginable. I needed to stop making excuses and take my life back.”

‘Hey, are you alone? I don’t know how to tell you this, but mom just called. Jason died. He overdosed.’ That moment, everything STOPPED.’: Woman overcomes Adderall addiction, gets sober after brother dies of overdose, ‘my new life is full of magic, love’

“I sat on the floor of my balcony thinking about how I could hang myself but not wanting to do it for the sake of everyone outside. ‘This is all just a game.’ I missed a metal railing by a few inches and went straight into a ditch. I flipped 7 times, hit a tree and went airborne. The next thing I knew I was saying, ‘Jason? Jason, please don’t leave me.’ I was in a full-blown conversation with him. He was in the same white gown that I said goodbye to him at his funeral. ‘Cass, you are not alone, but you need to go back.’”

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