addiction and family

‘I could’ve killed myself, or my precious son. I’m riddled with guilt. I’m so ashamed of things I’ve done in front of my child.’: Mother in the throes of addiction, ‘I don’t want to do it anymore. I want my son to have a sober mom’

“I have a toddler at home who I will not be able to take to get his picture with Santa. I will not be able to take him to see all the pretty Christmas lights. I sat in the shower and let the water run down my body as I cried. Then demons creep in. ‘It was boring getting high at home, taking care of a toddler all day. It would be fun to stay at a motel and just get high. I just want to do it ONE MORE TIME.’ I’m riddled with guilt. I’m so ashamed.”

‘Are you KIDDING? Don’t be a prude. Just take the drink!’ I shook my head no. I was weak. I took it.’: Woman loses father to alcohol poisoning, ‘it is my right not to drink, please respect it’

“At 11, they draped a pale, unfamiliar version of my dad in white. ‘Are you alone?’ I watched a flurry of red and blue police lights dance across my ceiling. Alcohol poisoning. He never returned. You knew my past. Yet, you judged me when I turned down your drink. Did you know, I saw my father in my nightmares that night? Did you know, I was smiling, but dying on the inside? My trauma is more important than your right to a fun time.”

‘To the girl in love with an addict, his failures are not your failures. His demons are not your demons.’: Mom comes to terms with husband’s addiction, advises addict spouses to ‘hang in there’

“To the girl in love with an addict, I saw you sit in your car alone at halftime and breakdown. I see you and your fake smile. Don’t worry, they all still believe you’re fine. You’ve gotten so good at crying hard, getting it all out fast, and getting back to your seat before anyone even realizes you’re gone. Please don’t let him make you think his addiction is your fault. This has nothing to do with you at all. You deserve better than this.”

‘I love you, sweetie. I’ll call you Friday.’ Those words will forever haunt me. I received a call from my mom when school ended. ‘This is the hardest thing I’ll ever tell you.’ I fell to the floor.’

“My heart sank. I could tell by her voice I had to get home. I still hear the words as she fought back breaking down. ‘We have to go. We have to get there!’ I remember having thought, ‘He seems better. He seems more like himself.’ My dad was back. Boy, was I wrong.”

‘When I was 15, I was sent to a private boarding facility in the backwoods. I snuck out was roaming during the night. I was suddenly taken into a building far in the woods, the doors locking behind me.’

“For the next 2 years, I was ‘locked up’ with wire fences, an open bay dorm of girls in dresses. I was to say yes ma’am and no sir. Everything was taken from me. Our letters were censored. Girls who would cry would be forced to sit in a baby stool with a pacifier.”

‘Your sister’s been in an accident.’ He broke the news. ‘Where are the kids?!’ CPS had no idea they ever existed.’: Woman adopts long-lost nieces and nephews, ‘Our hearts are so full’

“I called my husband, worried what he would say. I wanted my nieces and nephews. He responded, ‘Let’s go get our kids.’ We had no idea what we were getting into. We had never even met the children, and we didn’t have a plan. One by one, they entered the room. I sat there quietly, although inside I was screaming, ‘I am your aunt!’”

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