addiction

‘No matter how badly I want to stop my son’s addiction, I can’t. I finally had to walk away. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.’ Mom’s heart ‘aches’ for homeless son battling addiction

“Within 48 hours, he was out of my house with his bicycle and backpack. I lie awake at night wondering if my son is in a safe place, if he is eating, if he’s warm. I cry for him every time I think or talk about him for more than a few minutes. My heart aches. Knowing he is now a homeless, unemployed drug addict is the most terrifying thing I have ever dealt with.”

‘I was 17, in love with a dad twice my age, and preparing my son’s autopsy.’: Teen mom loses son to SIDS, re-discovers herself after ‘flailing through life in destruction mode’ for decades

“The clock reads 5:36. I hear him yell. Blood is trickling from his mouth. Shock. Fear. Confusion. Put him in the car. Stop. No time. He’s not breathing. Cry. Scream. Beg him to breathe. The police are here to question us. Why aren’t they doing anything? It’s too late. We have to plan a funeral. Shortly after, my relationship ends. The burden of a dead baby is too much. I fall asleep crying on my son’s grave frequently. I cannot breathe. I am a disaster trying to maintain normalcy.”

‘I lied to you,’ my fiancé said. ‘It has all been a lie.’ I felt sick to my stomach. He told me there had been another incident with the woman from work. Turns out, that was the LEAST of my problems.’

“‘I don’t want to get involved in a relationship with you until she is out of the picture,’ I told him. I asked him outright, ‘Is there anything I should be worried about?’ He reassured me, ‘no.’ I could see there was something on his mind. Nothing prepared me for what followed.”

‘He was out at a restaurant with my brother. The next morning, my entire life was over. ‘Caroline. He’s not breathing.’ I snapped back, ‘What are you talking about?’: Widow learns to grieve with her daughters after husband unexpectedly ‘died in his sleep’

“Someone I love dearly timidly asked, ‘Did he do those things regularly?’ I considered keeping his secret. I chose not to disclose WHY he died. I told people, tight-lipped, ‘He died in his sleep.’ I held onto the shame and guilt. ‘I’ll do this for you,’ I thought.”

‘I heard two words: ‘fugitive felon.’ I caught my son’s eye. His shackles made my stomach flutter uncontrollably. His public defender smoothed her beige suit, and approached him.’

“The severely criminal charge was, in fact, a reference to my 24-year-old. I never imagined that term would apply to him. An unexpected call helped me through his transfer to prison. It had been weeks without contact when I answered the unfamiliar number. I fought back tears. He told me how much my son loved me.”

‘I told her, ‘I’m looking for a ‘suit.’ He’s an ex-felon, an addict, covered in ink, going through a divorce, currently unemployed. Yeah, No!’ We married just 3 months later.’

“I clicked into his profile. ‘Hi.’ His response was, ‘Who is this?’ He would disappear for long periods of time – sometimes years – and no one knew if he was alive or dead. Just 6 days after meeting him, I was on pins and needles. I finally called. When he answered, I could hear the difference in his voice. I’m telling you, he was magic.”

‘Miss, I have your father’s autopsy results,’ the coroner said. ‘He felt absolutely nothing.’ I quickly asked, ‘It wasn’t an overdose?!’ ‘No drugs were detected, ma’am.’ I cried hysterically.’

“‘We can’t reach him,’ he said. My grandpa was at my dad’s apartment trying to get in. Police arrived. ‘Do we have permission to break in?’ The officer kicked the door down. ‘Dad!,’ my sister screamed. A police officer held our grandpa back. ‘Dana wake him up, get him up!’ All she could say was, ‘Grandpa, I am so sorry.'”

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