“I got back to the car, it was gone. I had absolutely no clue where I was. I just wanted to sleep. Then, I heard him lock the door.”
‘In broken English he said, ‘I have a daughter. I don’t want to hurt you, but I need to please myself. Don’t scream because the police won’t help you. If you are good, I won’t hurt you.’
‘Are they ALL yours?’ My husband loves to whisper, ‘Not all of them are mine. My wife went through a wild phase.’
“Going out every night. Conceiving children in bar restrooms with strange men. But I just loved her through it.”
‘I was in high school, crammed in a car with my girlfriends, driving to the hospital to support our best friend, who was about to place her baby boy into the arms of a woman she didn’t know, and say goodbye to him forever.’
“By the time we got to the hospital she had already delivered him. I remember walking in the room to see my beautiful friend laying there, a sheen of sweat still visible on her forehead, tired, solemn and more quiet than usual – and thinking she was the bravest, strongest, person I’d ever known.”
‘Holy crap. Am I exposing a family secret? Who even knows I given up for adoption all those years ago? I am looking at my biological family tree. There are pictures. And names.’
“I went from knowing next to nothing, to staring obsessively at these names. At first it was fascinating. Like I uncovered a huge mystery. But then, other thoughts started to creep into my head. What if I’m just a horrible mistake two people made and then forgot about?”
‘Oh! You’re a 7. Let’s see what happens if you push.’ We were hurried back into the delivery room because this baby was coming RIGHT NOW.’
“We got the call. THE CALL. A baby had been born the day prior, and his birth mother had chosen us to raise him. We spent the next 12 hours frantically rushing around. And then, literally on our way out the door, we got another call: she had changed her mind. This wasn’t our baby.”
‘His teacher suddenly jumped on the desk. He started walking across each one, to make sure every single eye was on him.’
“I’ll never forget when he had them throw their history books on the ground and tell them how they got it all wrong that day, and made choices that would come back to haunt them.”
‘I got on the bus. A pregnant woman was struggling with trash bags and 2 toddlers. After talking with me for 20 hours, she was open to me adopting her child. I was over the moon!’
“I was told, ‘Come get her. I don’t want her. I can’t afford her,’ but she always ended up taking her back. Years went by I didn’t see or hear from them. Then, I got a phone call.”
‘I received ‘the call.’ It was a typical Sunday. My phone rang and it was my husband’s uncle. My heart immediately started pounding. I knew before he spoke this had to be about a baby.’
“‘You were meant to be this baby’s mom. I feel like I am just a vessel carrying this baby for someone else. I think you and your husband would be amazing parents.’ I ran into our tiny hallway and jumped into my husband’s arms. ‘This is the one I just know it!’”
‘It hit me in that moment, this baby is not yet mine. He is hers. I gravitated to her. ‘Do you want to meet your son Miller?’ I took him in my arms and stared down.’
“We nervously, softly knocked on the door. She got up, kissing him, and we all started to cry. I tried to stay strong as she sobbed in my arms. It was time for us to go. We had to push our son out of the room and down the hall, away from her. I lost it.”
‘Her piercing blue eyes were mesmerizing. ‘This will be too much for your family to handle,’ we heard. ‘She will live in total darkness. Total silence.’
“We woke to a text. These people helping us couldn’t understand how we could move forward with adoption until we were certain SHE WOULD LIVE. I responded verbatim, ‘WE WANT THIS GIRL NO MATTER WHAT.’”
