“I loved you fiercely far before I knew you. She sat on that bed holding you, her tears falling onto your perfect self as she fed you one last time. The room’s air was thick as molasses. And then, she placed you in my arms, and I melted all over the floor.”
‘I just have to ask, do you love Sage as much as you love Ira? I know you say you do, but is it true?’ We sat on my living room floor when she asked me this. I nodded. ‘I absolutely do.’
‘I found out I was pregnant one month after I turned 19 years old. ‘The second line is faint. You’re very early in your pregnancy,’ the nurse said. I had not even missed a period yet. Utterly shocked.’
“I tried to go on with life pretending nothing was wrong, while keeping this enormous secret, but ultimately couldn’t think about anything else. His birth was bittersweet. I held him, sobbing, as I signed away my rights as his mother.”
‘She was HIV+ and we knew she was our daughter. Time stopped when we saw her. She was absolutely beautiful and perfect, but her oversized clothes hung loosely on her tiny frail body.’
“We were looking for a child with HIV. When we learned she was positive, we KNEW she was the one. She was 2 years old and only weighed 15 pounds. I started seeing a trauma counselor. James learned how to breath in public again, knowing no one was coming after us. Then BAM – Morning sickness!”
‘We have 2 biological and 9 adopted kids, and all 11 are completely ours. We can now say we have 5 baby-daddies.’
“My wife tried to get me on board, but my answer was always, ‘There’s no way. Are you trying to KILL me?’ Finally, she mentioned a sibling group of 4. FOUR?!?! REALLY?!?! ‘Is this your way of telling me you want a divorce?! Because it CAN NOT happen!,’ I declared.”
‘We were contacted by an expectant mother. She was only four months along, I felt my nerves spike. I was nervous to get to know someone only to have someone change their mind again.’
“Would you be interested in an open adoption?’ How often do we get together? How should we celebrate holidays? How should Kendrick refer to Maryellen? How did we answer inappropriate questions from people we met?”
‘At 10, I ran away to the bus station. ‘Which goes farthest?’ I had no shoes, one shirt. I needed to find a place where he could never find me. I knew if he got hold of me, my life would be over.’
“I ended up 300 miles away. I was homeless, living in survival mode. A year in, strangers approached me and said, ‘We want to take you to school.’ I said yes, not really sure what I was agreeing to. Little did I know they were going to change my life forever.”
‘She’d ask for money. The knots in my stomach grew. Then, our attorney called. Our birth mother had been working with 4 other families, promising her baby to them too. We’d been scammed.’
“We got to know our birth mother. We bonded over our dreams for this child. But, something about her didn’t feel right. She knew exactly what she was doing, and who she was playing. She knew all about me and my infertility. And she knew we would do anything to help her, because that’s the kind of people we are.”
‘A 20-year-old suddenly appeared on our doorstep. He needed a family just as much as we needed him. His foster mom texted me, ‘I’m no longer able to provide care for him.’
“Joe had lived with a caring foster mother for the past 7 years. He has cognitive disabilities and required ongoing care, even though he was now an adult. I emailed friends, ‘I feel sad he is not with us.’ Less than an hour later, I got her text. We had less than a day to decide.”
‘She said, ‘That’s them. That’s my son’s parents. That’s who I’ve been looking for.’ And then, I told her you were pregnant.’
“Her entire demeanor changed. The pause felt like an eternity. There could be two ends to this. My hand flew to my mouth as a gasp of air escaped and a sob caught in my throat. Stunned.”
‘Shonna, someone was in an accident. It looks like his motorcycle.’ I was holding our daughter. ‘I’M GOING TO DROP HER.’ I tumbled outside, listening for sirens.’
“He gave us forehead kisses. ‘Byeee Charlotte, daddy loves you,’ and backed out of the driveway. My phone rang. I remember answering to hear concern on the other end. ‘What’s Brandon doing?,’ they asked. ‘Oh, he’s out on a bike ride!’ There was a long pause.”
