“Would you be interested in an open adoption?’ How often do we get together? How should we celebrate holidays? How should Kendrick refer to Maryellen? How did we answer inappropriate questions from people we met?”
‘We were contacted by an expectant mother. She was only four months along, I felt my nerves spike. I was nervous to get to know someone only to have someone change their mind again.’
‘Stop saying adoption rocks. It doesn’t. And there’s a side to it no one wants to talk about.’
“The part where I cried when I couldn’t have children and the doctor told me to ‘man up’ because ‘the world population is too big anyway so just get a dog.’ The part where, despite my best efforts to love my child, she still says, ‘I want my other momma.'”
‘Can you take a 6-month-old baby?’ I knew in my heart he was mine. I remember them being less than kind, staring at my arm. ‘What happened to you?’
“‘If my arm didn’t stop me from being a great mom to my biological child, why would it stop me from being a great foster mom?’ I was advised to give up because of my disability. I was heartbroken and had no rights.”
‘At 4 a.m. we got THE call. ‘YOU’RE HAVING A BABY! Mom’s water broke! How fast can you get here?’ With tears streaming down her face, she handed him to me and said, ‘Meet your son.’
“We were 7 hours away! We woke up the friends we were staying with, told them what was happening, brushed our teeth, and hit the road! We started calling family from the car. ‘Wake up, we’re having a baby!’”
‘It was April Fool’s Day, and I woke up crying. There was nothing funny about today, for me. My husband had a vasectomy. I was 34 years old.’
“My husband’s father looked up from his paper. ‘Your cousin is losing his rights to his child and is looking for someone in the family to adopt her.’ And just like that, he went back to reading his paper. We both looked at each other. He didn’t even have to ask me. ‘Yes, us.'”
‘I called my dad. I was afraid to tell him. ‘WHAT DID I JUST SIGN MYSELF UP FOR?’ I made a mistake saying I could foster by myself. What was I thinking?’
“I was at the gym when I got the call. He was a biracial 14-month-old boy. ‘He can’t walk or talk. Are you interested in taking him in?’ I could have easily said no. About 45 minutes later, the investigator dropped him off at my house. Neither of us knew we had just met our forever family.”
‘We hugged her. Then, we received a text. When we pushed the door open, all I heard was, ‘We have a situation.’ My heart sank. I knew what those words meant.’
“We secretly prepared for the baby. We received the call we had been waiting for. Baby was born. It was time to head to the hospital. If I’m being honest, I was sick to stomach thinking about what the next few hours might look like.”
‘I’m so happy, but honestly a little confused. I really thought we were going to have twins… Exactly one month later, we were contacted by our second attorney. I just knew someone was missing.’
“I knew I couldn’t sit around and wait any longer. The feeling was urgent. Our baby needed us now and no one was going to fight harder for that baby to join our family than me.”
‘Our attorney told us we shouldn’t get our hopes up. It doesn’t happen like this and it would not turn out in our favor. I didn’t know if we would hear from her again.’
“We were contacted by several women. Then I got a Facebook message from a woman who had seen our post.”
‘I received a message from an expectant mom. She was someone from my past. Someone from my childhood. Someone who for years had silently followed our journey.’
“She was due just three weeks later and asked us if we would adopt her baby. I knew although the connection seemed way too close to home, there was a reason this relationship was created all those years ago. There was a reason this connection resurfaced.”
