adoption

‘I asked, ‘Are you okay?’ We were greeted with one line. ‘Twins. Congrats.’ We immediately hopped on a plane. We were told to spike their bottles with caffeine. There were roadblocks.’

“We found a surrogate. The doctor started to gush about how lovely she was! ‘You have to woo her and make sure she picks you guys!’ Communication was sparse. We were constantly checking emails. I’ll never forget my husband kneeling as he opened one eagerly awaited message. He stared at the computer screen, speechless.”

‘My miscarriage crushed me. I screamed and cried in the nursery closet, clenching my son’s wubby so hard my palms bled. I was inconsolable.’

“Now you’re left exhausted, thinking what the hell did we just do? Am I an imposter because I failed? I flipped my mindset. It felt good to dive into something again, which started with ripping up all the carpet in the upstairs of our house. There was no sense in avoiding a room meant for a nursery when I could change it into a usable space.”

‘She was HIV+ and we knew she was our daughter. Time stopped when we saw her. She was absolutely beautiful and perfect, but her oversized clothes hung loosely on her tiny frail body.’

“We were looking for a child with HIV. When we learned she was positive, we KNEW she was the one. She was 2 years old and only weighed 15 pounds. I started seeing a trauma counselor. James learned how to breath in public again, knowing no one was coming after us. Then BAM – Morning sickness!”

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