“A loved one recently said, out of the blue, ’Christa, for insomnia, limit your screen time before bed, get exercise, and eat well.’ I looked at him, with one cocked eyebrow and said, ‘Yes, I’ve been doing those things.’ Thanks Captain Obvious.”
‘You have cancer? Lemon water will cure you. You have cancer? Just think positive, only negative people die from cancer.’
‘This elderly man needed pain meds for his wife. The employee simply said, ‘It’s in aisle 6.’ He struggled to navigate the supermarket. I left all my groceries and took him there.’
“Today, I watched an elderly man who had obviously fallen, with a huge scrape and blood on his leg. He walked past people in the cafe, while he slowly made his way to his car. Not one person stopped. Or looked. Or acknowledged him.”
‘This chip clip saved my life tonight. I had a migraine start almost 12 hours ago and it was at an unbearable limit.’
“I had exhausted all of my drugs and tricks. I glanced at the counter and saw this chip clip. Within one minute I had some relief.”
‘For a long-time people have said, ‘Your wife is very lucky to have you’ or ‘I hope I find a man who treats me like that.’
“Truth be told, it really irks me.”
‘Nobody is having sex with their spouse every night. Except FREAKS. Nobody keeps the house clean all the time. Except FREAKS. It’s ok if you forget to clip your kid’s fingernails.’
“A breaking point is coming. Your child doesn’t really need a St. Patrick’s Day shirt. It feels like it’s your job to keep everyone happy, healthy and mentally well. But, that is a lie straight from the pits of HADES.”
‘I wore my wedding dress to make dinner. ‘Honey, this mac and cheese is amazing.’ He’s lying because it came out of a box and is made from orange powder. ‘Thanks babe. It must be the dress.’
“Oh, are you wearing a dress? I didn’t even notice.”
‘My friend was sure I was dead. I was pronounced dead on arrival. The first call was to the hospital to get the body bag ready, then my aunt to tell her I was clinically dead for 6 minutes.’
“We stopped in the middle of our street after a car drove up next to us. My mother asked for my clothes and shoes, but my aunt told her they were too drenched with blood to save. Blood was pouring out of my shoes.”
‘Ladies, find your person. Not the cutest diaper bag. Not the sleekest car or the fanciest preschool. Not the car seat that is also a stroller that is also a high chair.’
“Find the person that will come hold your baby when all you need is a shower. Find the person who your teenager can call when they have a problem they’re not yet ready to discuss with you. Find the person who is ready to drop everything for queso and margaritas after a hard day, no questions asked.”
‘I still love you.’ When he was 13, he told me he was pansexual. I wasn’t sure what steps I should take as his mother, or even what an appropriate response was.’
“I wanted to prove to Adrian that there is support for him beyond what he saw. Most people have heard that a number of transgender people will attempt suicide. Regardless, this is simply not a risk I was willing to take.”
‘I asked him what he was going to do when she had a really rough pregnancy and her body changed. ‘Are you going to walk out? I have a feeling you are better than that.’
“He was going on about how the woman he married was going to have a banging body, be into healthy food and video games. She was going to have the fashion sense of a Kardashian, while also being thrifty. Basically his dream woman was was full of contradictions. I don’t think he liked my response.”
