“I can’t believe I was blind to this for so long. I know this makes my white friends uncomfortable. I am embarrassed it took my child being treated poorly for me to listen. But what I now know, I can’t unknow.”
‘My daughter’s friends told her they don’t like ‘those’ people. I’ve witnessed parents make their children leave the playground when my Black son showed up.’
‘A little boy saw you and yelled, ‘You’re brown, you’re not supposed to be brown!’ My heart dropped to the floor. You had the most innocent look on your face.’
“The boy’s mom quickly said, ‘He is brown, but he’s beautiful.’ The little boy yelled again, ‘No, he’s not. He’s NOT beautiful, because he’s brown!’ In the moment, I couldn’t even open my mouth.”
‘His teacher suddenly jumped on the desk. He started walking across each one, to make sure every single eye was on him.’
“I’ll never forget when he had them throw their history books on the ground and tell them how they got it all wrong that day, and made choices that would come back to haunt them.”
‘Mom! You are white and I am brown, and that means Martin made it so you could adopt me!’ He grabbed his little brother’s hand. ‘Look! Martin’s dream came true.’
“He was 4 the first time kids told him he couldn’t play with them on the playground because he was black. I wasn’t prepared for any of it.”
‘When he was born I heard, ‘Oh my God. He has RED HAIR!’ I paused. ‘No, just wash him a few times.’ The nurse washed him 3 times. ‘No mama, you’ve got a little ginger.’
“Trust me, I was shocked too. I can’t count how many times I had to explain he wasn’t adopted, wasn’t my stepson, and wasn’t albino. That I was his mom – not the aunt, Godmother, or the nanny.”
‘For us, he was only ever our son. Not our black or adopted son. Even though most folks find him adorable right now, they might feel differently when he dates their daughters.’
“A neighbor at a playgroup asked all the kids to go around the room and say what color they were. They all laughed when it was Eli’s turn. He said he was white, like everyone else did. They made sure he left knowing he wasn’t.”
‘A stranger helped me with my black daughter’s hair. I desperately want to do the right thing. Our world needs more people like this.’
“As a white mama, I felt like a failure. I was sure I was missing something simple.”
