“I had already seen my daughter, at 2 years old, my ‘angel baby,’ be taken over by this ‘STRANGER.’ Now here I am, years later with my son. I began to see this ‘stranger’ steal another one of my baby’s personalities. I had always looked forward to motherhood. BUT THIS?! Why my babies?!”
‘I wouldn’t even let you watch my DOG,’ the attorney said to me. I lost custody of my firstborn, my baby girl. I began sobbing. Then WOW, a miracle happened.’
‘I woke up in a different country, in a tattoo parlor, after a night of drinking. I have no idea how we were allowed on the plane. All I had was my passport.’
“I had no luggage, and was wearing my clothes from the night before. That night changed everything for me.”
‘Behind closed doors, I was called ‘crazy’ and ‘too sensitive.’ We lived like roommates that slept together. I tried leaving. He promised to change, and he did, until I got pregnant again.’
“Into my life walks a man I knew since he got sober 4 years earlier. He and his girlfriend had recently broken up. I know my kids are watching us. Our children are always watching.”
‘His little voice begged me to wake up. ‘Don’t die, mommy. Don’t die, mommy.’ His hug, his kiss and his tenderness, lying next to me for hours as I sobbed.’
“Another fight left me to sleep in the guest room. My middle child, my baby boy, crawled into bed with me as my head throbbed and I couldn’t’ stop the room from spinning. Again. My loudest rock bottom came like a whisper – It was his touch.”
‘I woke up handcuffed to a hospital bed covered in my own vomit, dirt and mud caked in my ears and under my perfectly manicured acrylic nails.’
“I made a phone call that no mom ever wants to get. Within an hour, my mom was at my apartment and I will never forget the look of absolute terror on her face.”
‘I found out I was pregnant. My ex-boyfriend refused to believe the baby was his. We tried to come to a resolution, but within a month, he was found dead in his bed.’
“I had my first serious boyfriend. He was older. That is the night my destiny changed. I became very ill the next week. I had a severe fever, so physically exhausted I couldn’t even get out of bed.”
‘Dear neighbor, It’s me. The girl on the other side of your walls. The one who dialed 911 at 2:30 a.m. last night.’
“The one who heard you screeching as your alcoholic husband was screaming in a drunken fury. I’m the one who told the police that you have 5 children. As a survivor of domestic abuse, it pulls at my heart every time I hear yelling next door.”
‘Molly, I am sick again. I promise I’m going to get better this time.’ I hang up, but she is all I can think about. How can I love her so much, and be such a constant source of disappointment?’
“I don’t want to catch a glimpse of her beautiful face in my mind. It hurts too much. She is so perfect. How can she still utter the words, ‘It’s okay mom, I love you’? I don’t deserve her love or her forgiveness.”
‘Everything went dark, and when I came to, I had no idea if I had been out for 5 minutes or 5 hours. There was no one left to call, and no one was coming.’
“I started drinking at what felt like a normal age – 12 or 13 years old. I was in 7th grade. I had no idea pretty, little girls from affluent East Coast towns could wind up alcoholic.”
‘His mommy issues consumed him. He got involved with women who resembled his mother. He was in a dark, dark place. He looked for a way out of that pain, and what he found, was heroin.’
“He was sneaky, and he didn’t like to be told what to do. He loved me more than anything. He was so, so proud to have finally ‘conquered me,’ as he would say. But that love wasn’t enough.”
