angel baby

‘She woke up vomiting. We thought she was going to be fine. My daughter died in my arms as I sang ‘You are my Sunshine.’: Mom works to overcome overwhelming grief, has ‘miracle’ rainbow baby

“Some days I try to get the house back in order. Then I pick up a stray pink, striped sock from under the couch. Suddenly I can’t move, I can’t breathe, and sink down to my knees. I cry so violently it shakes my body. I find myself softly chanting ‘daughter, daughter, daughter’ over and over and I lose count as I hold that sock and rock it.”

‘You promise you’ll hang a wind chime for my son?’ I felt each syllable. His shaky jaw dropped against my shoulder.’: Nurse hangs wind chimes to honor each ‘angel baby’ she delivers

“For a year, it’s been my greatest honor to litter chimes among tree leaves where hummingbirds fly. You and your husband know this. Shared from one of the private corridors of my heart. Spilled out of my trembling mouth during one of our many discussions of how Nurses behave at home. How we process bad outcomes. How we offload shifts like the very one I was in the middle of. Dead babies are not supposed to happen to us, but here you are. A nurse. One of us. Your son was my 21st wind chime.”

‘My leg is tingling!’ The morphine wore off. My heartbeat stopped, then my baby’s. I blacked out.’: Mom suffers from PTSD after child loss, now pregnant with rainbow baby, ‘I will always love her’

“I was so close to death. Around 2 a.m. my labor completely kicked in. I fell back asleep until I felt something ‘down there.’ I moved my hand and felt my daughter’s head. ‘They couldn’t find a heartbeat.’ Not a dry eye ever left my room. I saw her still heart, the same heart chambers that were beating so perfectly just a month before. My baby girl was gone.”

 Share  Tweet