“I lived in terror after my daughter died. I had to turn on the light every 5 minutes to check on my kids, because I knew for certain one of them had stopped breathing. I didn’t realize I had PTSD. I just felt like I was losing my mind. I was so stressed, the panic just kept coming. Many people think PTSD only happens to soldiers. It doesn’t.”
‘I saw my kids dead, over and over. It was my constant fear.’: Mom suffers severe PTSD after losing daughter to Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood
‘I peeked in her bedroom. As I walked closer, I looked at her white feet and knew something was wrong. My brain snapped.’ Mother tragically loses daughter to Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood
“‘I’m sorry, we have to do this when a child dies in the home. It’s so hard for you,’ the investigator said. They found no cause of death. It is so rare, and the last thing I want to do is cause fear in someone else, but it’s a very real and possible thing that can happen.”
‘My low was mommy fighting at me. She YELLED.’ He said in a firm and frustrated voice. My husband looked at me. I was mortified. I felt ashamed.’
“We were sitting around the dinner table sharing our ‘highs and lows’ of the day. Everyone was laughing. It felt like such a good meal conversation. It was Sawyer’s turn to share his high and low. ‘Alright buddy, you’re up.’ It got quiet.”
‘I don’t want to sit in the middle!,’ he screamed. The neighbors were staring. I never knew so much anger existed in me until I became a mom. It is terrifying. I don’t even recognize myself.’
“‘I’m going to hold your legs down until you calm down because you’re hurting me when you kick.’ Our neighbors were still watching. It’s shameful, embarrassing, and humiliating. He screamed and kicked and fought. I could feel my anxiety creeping in.”
‘I let our friendship go on for far too long. It was toxic. I would hear things she’d say about me that were simply not true. It was hurtful. Once I realized she was a liar, I knew it was time to let go.’
“Life is too short. Do yourself a favor and weed your circle. Eliminating toxic friendships is one of the hardest things about growing up, but let’s face it. Friends can break your heart too. It’s okay to find the strength to let go.”
‘She was born with her umbilical chord around her neck, her face blue from lack of oxygen. She came into the world feet first. She always goes about things her own way, birth was no exception.’
“I had no idea what was happening, but I knew my mom was behind a cold, closed door that I wasn’t allowed to go through. I wish I could’ve held her hand – she needed it.”
‘Your heart rate is fast and it skips. We don’t know why. You are young, you will grow out of it.’ The appointments were worthless. The doctor wrote me off as a hypochondriac.’
“I was angry. Enraged is more like it. I realized my major problems started at the end of 2013. What had I done differently that year? I had birth control inserted in my arm. It was just a hunch, but I knew deep down I was right.”
‘Why didn’t you call the police?’ ‘I would have fought back.’ ‘Well, why didn’t you?’ ‘You got married really young. Did you see the signs before you were married?’
“I would hear the words, ‘I want a divorce,’ for the first time, on our honeymoon. A friend had an intervention with me. An aunt told me, ‘You know, you don’t have to do this,’ right after we were engaged. I remember scoffing, thinking, ‘All it takes is commitment.’”
‘His dying wish was to be home. I never got to thank him for drying my tears when I was broken inside as a victim of bullying.’
“It’s the things I no longer remember that hurt so deeply. What it feels like to wrap my arms around his neck to hug him. I no longer remember the feeling of joy he brought me. Loving him feels like a lifetime ago.”
‘The way our culture treats boys sickens me. A young boy got his blood drawn today. He was crying. His guardian kept telling him to ‘man up.”
“When this woman went to the bathroom I told the kid it was okay to express his emotions. You know why women have to fear violent men? Because of THIS that represses boys and men. Crying doesn’t make you weak. Fear doesn’t make you weak.”
