anorexia nervosa

‘I got the call from her sister: ‘Things are bad. Come now if you want to say goodbye.’ I kissed the top of her head and walked toward the door, for the last time.’: Woman loses best friend to 15-year battle with anorexia, ‘She did not choose this’

“I rubbed lotion on her legs and changed her socks, tasks she could no longer do herself. I wanted so badly to find some way to at least make her more comfortable. Afterwards, I let the door close behind me. I was 29 and she 30, but I knew this was the last time I’d see my sweet best friend on this side of Heaven. She did not choose this.”

‘I cried, ‘Make it stop! I can’t take it any longer!’ I downed laxatives to ’empty out’ whatever I’d let inside my body.’: Woman battling anorexia survives laxative suicide attempt, ‘EVERY one of us need to reach the end, even if we can’t always see that’

“I went downstairs to get the laundry and crumpled down on the bottom step. That’s when I felt the shooting pain of the latest round of laxatives attempting to kick in. I dropped the basket and crawled on my hands and knees. I could feel my stomach contracting fiercely. I didn’t even have the strength to hold a phone to my ear.”

‘When my dad whispered, ‘I love you,’ I knew it was more than that. It was a final goodbye. They were ready to let go.’: Woman diagnosed with eating disorder at 13 finally accepts help, ‘I am ready to start the next, better, decade of my life’

“My parents had shed too many tears over me, and I couldn’t bear it to break their hearts again. I felt ready to die, but knew it wasn’t my time. I was weak. I gave up the reigns and opted for inpatient treatment. I was frustrated, and I let this be known. I would shout and hit the walls. I would argue. But gradually, I came to life again. I am no longer held back by my demons.”

‘My mom said, ‘You have to leave. I’ll kill myself if you stay in this house with us.’ I was given one week.’: Woman overcomes neglect, eating disorder, ‘I wake up every day and choose recovery’

“When I had my first period, I felt I was confessing to a huge crime. I asked her, ‘Why?’ She simply said, ‘Out of sight, out of mind.’ I moved into a rundown bed where nobody spoke English. There was no lock on the front door and I frequently saw and heard people doing drugs on the roof of my bedroom.”

‘Look, she’s eating something!’ I hear the whisper. I feel the cold gnawing at the bottom of my stomach. I hate it and I love it.’: After 12 years battling anorexia, ED survivor learns to accept new plus-size body

“My brother makes me a sandwich when he sees I didn’t eat lunch. My bones poke up under my skin. ‘Please eat it,’ he begs. ‘You need to eat.’ It is so sweet of him, so I eat a few bites. But when he leaves, I give the rest to the dogs. They leave no evidence. Nothing in the trash for my dad to find when he empties it, nothing to clog the toilet. I have become clever in the ways of secret self-destruction.”

‘You better stop, or we’ll haul you off to the loony bin with the REAL crazy people.’ My father was in a drunken rage.’: Woman overcomes eating disorder from childhood trauma, ‘I’ve found strength to set that baggage down’

“Conditions at home reached a fever pitch. My father was laid off again, my grandmother moved in with her hoard, and I became sick. I tried my hardest to suppress that cough, barricaded with my little brother in my room, holding him back as the sounds of my father’s drunken rage filtered from the kitchen. My grandmother turned cold, hateful. ‘You’re old now. You aren’t cute and you have a bad attitude.’ The chaos was too much to bear. So I stopped eating.”

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