“My mom was distracted when he passed the information to me and said, ‘I would love to help you figure out what you want to do when you grow up.’ Then my mom chimed in about how great I was at sales. That was his siren. That was his bridge. That was his free ticket.”
‘I bet all the girls at school have a crush on you,’ he said. He tore a receipt and wrote his phone number down. I walked out of my front door on a school night and hopped in his car.’
‘I had to leave my 5-month pregnant wife behind. I was completely alone. ‘Am I cut out to be a dad?’ I showered and climbed into bed. Then it began. ‘THUMP, THUMP.’
“‘Does she even miss me? Is my wife going to love me after this long separation? Would I be able to provide for my family?’ My heart started beating louder. LOUDER. I started sweating profusely. It was 4 a.m. I began to panic.”
‘I had one job: protect my children. The next day he was gone and there was no way to get him back. I felt myself slipping away from reality.’
“On my son’s birthday, I laid on the floor, belly-down, with my hands on my chest to force myself not to hyperventilate. Minutes later, I rejoined the party with a smile on my face. ‘I am fine,’ I told myself.”
‘My father secretly recorded videos of me naked. I wanted nothing but my mother’s love and support. ‘Get out of my house,’ she told me.’
“I wouldn’t allow him to have power over me any longer. I stood up and walked out of the house. No one followed, no one cared. I had angels flying over me that night.”
‘I was over 600 pounds. I feared my wife would find me dead of a heart attack. I had two choices: lose weight or die.’
“I couldn’t walk more than a few hundred feet. People avoided me in public, as if being overweight was contagious. One parent used me as a lesson for their kid. ‘Look at him. This is what happens when you don’t eat right,’ she said.”
‘It was massive, like carrying a lemon inside my boob. ‘Not me,’ I said. ‘No way, I have no family history of it.’ Now I was faced with another alarming decision. Boobs or no boobs?’
“I asked the doctor, ‘What happened to flat?’ He replied, ‘I thought you might change your mind.’ As I sat there blinking in awe, I thought to myself, ‘This guy is nuts, I can’t even speak.”
‘My mailbox was overflowing with ‘love’ letters. He started showing up at my house in the middle of the night. He’d stroke my cheek, and tell everyone I was his wife.’
“I was 21 years old when a man I knew surprised me at my front door with 21 red roses in his hands. He began a bizarre role play. He told everyone he was my fiancé and that my parents were keeping me locked away.”
‘I had just gotten in my car when my phone rang. It was my best friend. She sounded serious. ‘What’s wrong?’ She didn’t know how to tell me, but I should get home as soon as I could.’
“My boyfriend was kicking me out of the apartment we shared. ‘Why?!,’ I asked her crying. I drove home as fast as I could. My clothes, makeup, shoes, were all thrown on the floor. He said he ‘knew what I had done.’ I was so confused.”
‘I pull into the school parking lot. I check my makeup. I walk to the front doors and wait to be escorted in. Memories flood my mind of all the chaos.’
“The bullying started over my relationship. People started rumors that I made myself throw up, prank called me and posted things online. I feel vulnerable and exposed. As I take a deep breath, I walk into the huge room.”
‘I was paranoid, always looking out the window to see who was watching. It was an endless, ugly cycle. If I couldn’t beat this and see my kids again, I’d kill myself.’
“I’d be sitting with people, having a nice, quiet drink with them, and in my head I’d be assassinating them – just in my mind. They thought I was a nice guy and I’d have this crazy thinking. It’s mad. I was locked up inside my own head all the time.”
