anxiety and depression

‘I was 17, in love with a dad twice my age, and preparing my son’s autopsy.’: Teen mom loses son to SIDS, re-discovers herself after ‘flailing through life in destruction mode’ for decades

“The clock reads 5:36. I hear him yell. Blood is trickling from his mouth. Shock. Fear. Confusion. Put him in the car. Stop. No time. He’s not breathing. Cry. Scream. Beg him to breathe. The police are here to question us. Why aren’t they doing anything? It’s too late. We have to plan a funeral. Shortly after, my relationship ends. The burden of a dead baby is too much. I fall asleep crying on my son’s grave frequently. I cannot breathe. I am a disaster trying to maintain normalcy.”

‘I was 22 and wanted to feel feminine. My husband said breast implants would help ‘spice things up.’: Woman removes implants after plagued by Breast Implant Illness, ‘removing them gave me the confidence I lacked for years’

“No one could figure out what was wrong me. My hair was falling out in chunks, my joints were swollen, and I could no longer form complete sentences. Once I decided my implants could be poisoning me, I made the decision to get them taken out. ‘You’re going to be unhappy after removing them,’ my surgeon told me. I walked out and I knew he was not the guy for the job.”

‘One second. One stoplight. I heard him yell. There were no flashing lights, no warning signs. I kept praying he’d just open his eyes.’ Little boy dies 3 times, meets mother’s miscarried babies while in coma

“‘Landon, do you know where your dad is?’ He looked me in the eyes. ‘Yes, I do. He’s in heaven. I saw your other kids there, too.’ I knew what he was talking about, but how did he know? I had two miscarriages before he was born. We never told him. He was only 8 years old.”

‘There’s not just one healthy baby. There’s TWO!’ My husband fell to the floor in shock. I had a huge pit in the bottom of my stomach. ‘There must be some mistake!’ 

“She stepped out of the room to give my OB a call. My mind went crazy. She must’ve been calling for backup. I was crying in complete confusion. Two? TWINS? No one gets pregnant and thinks ‘Yay! I’m going to have babies!’ It’s always, ‘Yay! I’m going to have A baby!’ But I had this strange feeling in my chest.”

‘My wife must regret spending her life with me. If she met someone different, she’d have perfectly healthy children,’ I told myself. ‘He is one of 34 people known to have this.’ My heart sank. ‘What? In the country?’ ‘No, in the world.’

“I remember thinking, ‘Maybe we just aren’t the best of parents.’ Little did I know my wife was secretly researching and had discovered a condition. One day, she showed me a video. My heart sunk. I felt dizzy. Straight away, I knew this was what our boy had.”

‘Help me get daddy out!,’ she begged. ‘He won’t like being dirty.’ I took her to see his grave. She started digging up the dirt, crying her little heart out. We sobbed until we had no more tears to cry.’

“She was 3. That was the last time I took her to his grave. She told me her ‘heart hurt too’ much and she didn’t want to go back. She asks if our family can die and ‘be a star in the sky with daddy.’ I go straight into Mommy mode and reassure her we can’t be stars. It’s not our time.”

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