battling infertility

‘So, do you just not want kids?’ I’d lie, tell them we weren’t ready. No one wants to hear their nurse say, ‘We can’t have babies.’: Woman embarks on foster care journey, turns ‘party of 3’ to a ‘party of 6’

“When others see us, they start looking around, panicked, for my children’s parents. We would have to say time and time again that they’re ours. They ask my daughter, ‘Are those REALLY your brothers and sisters?’ They’ll ask how much I paid for them, where they came from, which I think are odd questions to ask someone.”

‘To get 2 children, I gave up 2. Creating a baby lost all allure. I was on a mission, detached from the actual act. Every app told me when to breathe, when to baby make. I couldn’t feel joy. It was all fear.’

“I found some elaborate way to share the news with my husband. The handcrafted note around our dog’s neck read, ‘Surprise! You’re going to be a father!’ Then a few weeks later, surprise you’re not. By the 3rd pregnancy, there was no special announcement. I didn’t buy a single item, not even a bib. How could I?”

‘What’s wrong?’ My tattoo artist emerged from the back, visibly shaking and crying. ‘I just HAD to take in this moment.’: Mom loses twins, ‘uncommon’ first names combine to match name of tattoo artist’s late grandmother

“He’d gone back to trace the footprints of my babies, Leonor and Buchanan, both stillbirths. I was wondering what was taking so long, and started to worry my tattoo couldn’t be done. ‘I don’t want you to think I’m crazy,’ he said. ‘But my grandmother’s name was Leonor Buchanan. She just passed.’ I looked at him in complete shock and disbelief.”

‘I want my baby sister back!’ my daughter yelled, her arms stretching towards the river. I wanted her back, too.’: Mom ‘honors’ miscarried baby in emotional lakeside ceremony

“I walked into the hospital pregnant, and I walked out not pregnant. Without a baby in my arms to cuddle, to love on, to hold close to me. I wanted to visually part with my baby, for my own sense of peace. ‘You don’t want to see that. It’ll look like mush,’ my doctor said. What he didn’t realize was that ball of ‘mush’ was my baby. It would’ve been beautiful to me.”

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