battling infertility

‘To get 2 children, I gave up 2. Creating a baby lost all allure. I was on a mission, detached from the actual act. Every app told me when to breathe, when to baby make. I couldn’t feel joy. It was all fear.’

“I found some elaborate way to share the news with my husband. The handcrafted note around our dog’s neck read, ‘Surprise! You’re going to be a father!’ Then a few weeks later, surprise you’re not. By the 3rd pregnancy, there was no special announcement. I didn’t buy a single item, not even a bib. How could I?”

‘What’s wrong?’ My tattoo artist emerged from the back, visibly shaking, crying. ‘I just HAD to take in this moment.’: Mom loses twins, ‘uncommon’ first names combine to match name of tattoo artist’s late grandmother

“He’d gone back to trace the footprints of my babies, Leonor and Buchanan, both stillbirths. I was wondering what was taking so long, and started to worry my tattoo couldn’t be done. ‘I don’t want you to think I’m crazy,’ he said. ‘But my grandmother’s name was Leonor Buchanan. She just passed.’ I looked at him in complete shock.”

‘She yelled, ‘I want my baby sister back!’ There was no longer a baby in my belly, but a thick pad shoved against me like a band-aid.’: Mom grieves loss of angel baby, ‘I hope they feel their baby sister guiding them’

“My kids had no clue what was happening in that moment, but they saw mama fall apart. ‘I’ve had my lifeless baby in me for two weeks? How did I not know?’ I was empty, confused. I lay on my tear-soaked pillow while my two healthy kiddos ran around the house, wondering why mommy is still sad.”

‘Something weird was happening to my body. My abdomen started to swell. I appeared 7 months pregnant. The second we left the clinic, fear invaded us.’ Mom births quadruplets, claims she wouldn’t ‘change it for anything in the world’

“‘There’s something out of the ordinary here.’ They extracted four liters of the mystery fluid from my body, but couldn’t figure out what was wrong. They performed several tests and it was determined that, health wise, I was fine. Soon after, I decided to do a pregnancy test. I was looking at not 1 or 2 embryos, but 4. Quadruplets!”

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