“My suspicions turned out to be true. ‘Ms. Graham, are you able to take a 6-month-old baby?’ I rushed home and waited. Then I saw a car, circling and looking lost with a baby in the back. They hesitated to hand me my baby, like she was unsure how I would hold him.”
‘What happened to your arm?’ I tried to hide it during the interview, but they kept staring. Later, I got a call from my case worker. ‘Discontinue your application. Give up.’
‘My husband told me breast implants would help ‘spice things up’. I was 22 and wanted to feel feminine. I constantly found him viewing pornography, which made me feel undesirable.’
“My joints were swollen and I couldn’t wear my wedding ring anymore. My hair started falling out in chunks that would clog the drain. I figured it was just part of being a new mom and shook it off. No doctor could figure out what was wrong.”
‘You’d be SO MUCH prettier if you lost weight.’ I was 10. My siblings got juice, while I was only offered water. When we got into fights, ‘fatty’ was their low blow.’
“With a disgusted look, my own trainer asked, ‘Why are you SO overweight?’ I felt like I was just punched in my (fat) gut. I cancelled my gym membership and dropped out of high school. Ashamed and embarrassed, I just wanted to crawl in a hole and cry. I always felt in competition with my siblings.”
‘Why are you so hateful to yourself?’ ‘Oh, hell,’ I muttered before folding over in sobs. He wasn’t wrong. I am my own worst bully. The things I say to myself are plain awful.’
“Your daughter walks out the door with her prom date. What is on your mind as the two stroll hand in hand, down the sidewalk to the car? ‘Car crash.’ We respond, almost in unison. ‘Death.’ A little creepy, I admit.”
‘Are you sleeping with my husband?’ My baby was 4 months old and she needed her daddy. She dropped a bombshell. They immediately updated their relationship status on Facebook.’
“I’d walk in from work to find them giggling in the kitchen. Just when I thought life couldn’t get any better, I found out I was pregnant. She grinned. ‘Anytime you want me to babysit, I’d be happy to.’ She looked me straight in the eye. ‘I thought you should know…’ she began.”
‘During our photo shoot, a man screamed, ‘Dirty terrorists! Leave my country!’ He was an older gentleman, and looked absolutely disheveled, pointing at us. We were caught off guard.’
“He pulled out his privates while giving us the middle finger. We were shocked, mortified, and disgusted by what we had seen. But we are professionals at what we do. We continued on with our shoot. The man started approaching closer and closer.”
Boy grows hair to donate to kids in need: ‘What are you doing in the boy’s bathroom? You look like a GIRL!’ One parent asked, ‘Is that a boy? That is such irresponsible parenting!’ His hair was long and angelic. I never understood.’
“No matter what he wore, he was mistaken as a girl by strangers. Even in his Spider Man costume, someone said, ‘Oh she’s so cute!’ I got used to correcting people. One day, I was called into the principal’s office.”
‘My boss said, ‘PLEASE wear makeup like other girls. And do something about your hair.’ It felt intentionally hurtful. ‘Don’t you see it? We’re immigrants. Other staff don’t get treated like we do!’
“I loved my frizzy, wavy mane. I protested and the mind games started. Gossiping to other staff about me. Asking to have me fired daily when I did nothing to deserve being fired. It got personal.”
‘You’re 13 weeks pregnant!’ My bosses were so excited. Then things took a turn. ‘I have an issue with you pumping at work. Your job at this company is over.’
“I was heartbroken and confused. Was this man REALLY telling me I couldn’t pump?! I had no idea what to do. I needed this job! So, I wrote him a letter. ‘Come sit and talk with me,’ he said.”
‘One person told me, ‘Your stomach is so nasty. How can you be confident and sexy when you look like that? Take care of that mess of a body.’ Those harsh words stick. Ugly. Fat. Worthless.’
“Out of nowhere, I was being told I should ‘lose the baby weight’ so I could get back to the way things were before. WHAT? How I was before? Before what?”