being strong after miscarriage

‘The word ‘miscarriage’ sounds like the woman miss-carried and she’s to blame for her loss. And you know what, that couldn’t be farther from the truth.’: After miscarriage, woman says ‘there is pain because there is and was love’

“I was pregnant for a few short days with baby #4 only to have that ‘PREGNANT’ reading turn to ‘NOT PREGNANT’ in a matter of 72 hours. I had gotten excited. I had told the kids. When a woman miscarries, she will never not be carrying the pain of that loss within her. I beg you, don’t dare miss a chance at being there for her. It was me. It could be you. Or it might be her.”

‘To get 2 children, I gave up 2. Creating a baby lost all allure. I was on a mission, detached from the actual act. Every app told me when to breathe, when to baby make. I couldn’t feel joy. It was all fear.’

“I found some elaborate way to share the news with my husband. The handcrafted note around our dog’s neck read, ‘Surprise! You’re going to be a father!’ Then a few weeks later, surprise you’re not. By the 3rd pregnancy, there was no special announcement. I didn’t buy a single item, not even a bib. How could I?”

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