“Grief looks like walking around Hobby Lobby with a beautiful, happy baby boy and tears running down my cheeks. How do you even pick flowers for your daughter’s grave? Can anything I buy show how much I love and miss her? My rainbow baby is making the cashier laugh. I wonder what she thinks I’m buying the flowers for, and if she can feel the grief roll off of me.”
‘I could feel her dark, navy lips saying, ‘Hi, Momma! I miss you!’ I couldn’t feel anything but the the weight of her dead body.’: Woman grieves 2-year anniversary of daughter’s death, ‘Grief will forever be part of our family’
‘Sweet dreams baby boy, mummy loves you.’ The tiniest coffin lowered into the ground. That’s when it really hits you.’: Woman loses son to Edward’s Syndrome, ‘We gave him the most love we possibly could’
“We sat down that night with our oldest two. We explained we were so truly lucky because instead of a baby to bring home, we were given the rarest of gifts: an angel baby. They sobbed, ‘But we want him to come home.’ We purchased his plot where he would soon be laid to rest. At 32 weeks, we met with the funeral director – all as he kicked playfully inside my belly.”
‘When are you going to try again?’ I was still unable to wipe after going to the bathroom. My baby was being reduced to nothing but a ‘try.’: Couple births second daughter one year after first is stillborn, ‘I already WAS a mother’
“As my belly grew, I began being asked the ‘Is this your first?’ question by anyone, from the cashier at Target to the waitress while out for dinner. My answer was, ‘No, this is my second. My first child died.’ You could tell by the uncomfortable look on their faces that my response was always unexpected, met with pity and also toxic positivity. I already WAS a mother.”
‘It’s okay, baby, you can go.’ With tear-filled eyes, we held our little boy’s body as his soul went peacefully to Heaven to join his big brother.’: Parents lose newborn to Alveolar Capillary Dysplasia
“’Is it ok if I nurse him?’ ‘No, I am sorry. He’s not breathing well enough.’ He kept jumping the fence from better to worse, and back again. It was excruciating. We were assured Barrett was not in any pain. ‘What would you do if this was your son?’ We were crying uncontrollably. I asked the doctor to stop doing chest compressions. I’ll always remember Katy hand-delivering Barrett by pulling him out herself. The strongest woman I know gave birth to the strongest boy who ever lived.”
‘Is there something wrong with her head?’ Matt insisted on an answer. He bowed his head in prayer. I held his hand tight.’: Mom loses daughter to anencephaly, ‘Rachel made me a better person. She is safe and I will see her again.’
“‘She’s going to live, right?’ The doctor looked at me and said words I will never forget… ‘These babies don’t live.’ She handed me a box of rough, thin tissues and left the room. I completely lost all composure and thrashed around that room like I myself was being killed. ‘Not my girl… not my girl…’ I asked Matt, ‘What are we going to do?’ Without a pause, my brave husband said, ‘We’re going to give her a name.’”
‘I regret so much. Not following my mommy instinct. I’m sorry. I did my 40-minute walk on the treadmill, hoping that would wake you up.’: Mother writes letter to baby born sleeping, ‘I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you.’
“The first words out of my mouth as my body flooded with oxytocin were, ‘You are so cute.’ You were perfect, big lips, small button nose, the cutest most perfect feet I have ever seen. I said out loud to your dad multiple times that you just were so quiet in there, and I hoped you were okay. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you. Looking at you, finally, was the most magical moment.”
‘My daughter took her final breath. I felt a sudden surge of energy rush into my body. I carried her downstairs to the gurney.’: Grieving father recalls ‘hardest thing’ he’s ever done, ‘Sophia needed her Daddy one last time’
“When the funeral coordinator arrived, I gently picked Sophia up one last time. I carried her down the stairs to the gurney waiting for her. I made sure she was carefully secure as she was loaded into the van to the funeral home. I was lucky to be her daddy. I still have not grieved from watching my beautiful sweet girl die. I write her name in the shower on the glass with a big heart every day. It’s my way of remembering her.”
‘Do you want to hold her?’ My husband cradled her in his arms, weeping. ‘I just love her so much.’ My lungs burned as I gasped for air.’: Parents lose daughter to Anencephaly, ‘My husband fell to his knees’
“I collapsed over her body that no longer held the warmth and softness of a newborn. Nothing was going to bring her back. She was finally healed. Safe. Free of pain. I kissed her forehead. A final goodbye. My husband was escorted out of the room by the funeral director. I saw my daughter’s body leave forever, safe in her daddy’s arms. Stop. Stop. Stop the car. I can’t do this. I can’t go home. He rubbed my hand. ‘Let’s go to a hotel…’ We slept hard that night and awoke to a new day. A new, unwanted step we had to take without our baby girl.”
‘You must be so relieved. I bet you can’t wait to take her to Target.’ This medical hell would follow us home for years to come.’: Mother shares reality of daughter’s tracheostomy post NICU, ‘If I was going to do this, I’d become the best damn trach parent ever’
“If I was going to do this, I’d become the best damn trach parent that ever lived. The reality is, while our NICU chapter is over, this is far from normal. I can’t take Lily to the store, or anywhere, alone. My husband and I haven’t been alone in 4 months. One of us needs to be awake around the clock to care for her. There is no longer privacy in our home as our ‘special guests’ come in and out all day and night.”
‘I was scared to open the ambulance door. ‘I’m here, everything will be OK. We’re getting you help.’ A tear ran down my son’s face.’: Mom loses ‘gentle giant’ to ‘freak accident’ after gun falls from cabinet, ‘The investigator had never seen anything like it’
“I texted my son and asked, ‘Are you ok?’ Right at that moment, my husband said, ‘Get home now, Cody is bleeding. He is hurt bad.’ The pistol was put way up high in a cabinet. He must’ve been trying to hurry and the gun fell. The investigator said the only explanation he could give us was it was God’s plan.”
