bereaved

‘I couldn’t see him that way. ‘This is not real, this cannot be real.’ I didn’t go in, my beautiful boy was gone.’: Mom makes ‘brave’ decisions in her grief after losing son to suicide, ‘I choose not to torture myself’

“I chose not to wear black. It was the last occasion I would get to dress up for him. I wouldn’t attend his wedding, so I chose an outfit that would honor him and be celebratory. He was gone. All that was left of him was the shattered remains of a beautiful, perfect body he no longer wanted to be in. He chose his angelversary. He chose to leave us all behind and graduate to Heaven.”

‘Where did you get these?’ I knew. ‘Ren’s nursery.’ He didn’t realize how serious I was. ‘Put them back.’: Wife unexpectedly triggered by husband’s attempt at act of kindness, ‘It was all downhill from there’

“We ran out of toilet paper and Tommy was supposed to go to the store. Irritated, I asked him to get me something to use. Maybe a paper towel? He finally walks in holding a pack of wipes. They were a very specific kind, Huggies all-natural wipes. I started tearing up. ‘Put them back, please.’ He laughed and insisted I used them. He didn’t realize how serious I was until I started bawling. Something in his room was now out of place.”

‘At the nail salon, I felt a heavy substance drop onto my underwear. ‘No!’ I tightened my legs.’: Woman miscarries baby in nail salon ‘horror scene,’ vows to always ‘honor my little one’

“The ultrasound tech went silent. ‘Will I be getting my pictures today?’ I asked. I was in such a good mood. ‘No. If there was anything there, I would’ve shown you. There’s nothing.’ She was so heartless, her tone dry. I felt dizzy. I held my husband close, tears rolling down my face. He convinced me to get my nails done to distract my mind.”

‘Yellow!’ Micah pointed to an adorable little chick with a big smile. Then, he spiked a 106 fever.’: Woman loses 3-year-old to Arthritis, ‘I am a mother, that will never change with time, space, or death’

“‘Are you SURE?’ I asked the doc, reading the report. ‘It would be like being struck by lightening TWICE. He’s fine.’ They were wrong. He was SICK. Sicker than any baby I’d seen. I walked into the PICU bathroom, shut the door. I screamed, moaned, punched the mirror, and cried the guttural tears of a mother who already knew how the story ends, because she’d lived it before. I was reliving my worst nightmare.”

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