bipolar

‘Help me get daddy out!,’ she begged. ‘He won’t like being dirty.’ I took her to see his grave. She started digging up the dirt, crying her little heart out. We sobbed until we had no more tears to cry.’

“She was 3. That was the last time I took her to his grave. She told me her ‘heart hurt too’ much and she didn’t want to go back. She asks if our family can die and ‘be a star in the sky with daddy.’ I go straight into Mommy mode and reassure her we can’t be stars. It’s not our time.”

‘If I refused his advances, I’d get in trouble. I had to keep my head down, my mouth shut. I couldn’t ‘ruin’ her image of the perfect family. I paid my dues every night for 6 years.’ Sexual assault survivor breaks silence after 2 decades

“I was starved for affection. He used that to introduce adult discussions and behaviors. Beyond the exhaustion, I saw glimpses of silent threats. He’d sit in the dark until I got home, silently staring, so I knew he was watching. He’d threaten to kick me out, send me away to the state. All in the name of control. Instead of exploring who I was as a child, I was trying to be invisible.”

‘He said he ‘knew what I had done.’ My clothes were all thrown on the floor. My boyfriend was kicking me out.’: Woman escapes abusive ex with bi-polar disorder

“I asked her what was wrong. She told me she didn’t know how to tell me, but I should probably get home as soon as I could. My boyfriend had called her to let her know he was throwing out all my stuff and kicking me out. ‘Why?!,’ I asked her crying. My boyfriend yelled at me, saying I needed to get my (explicit) out of there now.”

‘Yes darling, what is it?,’ she said. ‘If I told you something, will you promise me nothing would to happen to my mom, sister or dad?’: Woman overcomes PTSD to find her ‘happy ending’

“I told my grandmother everything I could remember of that night, every detail of what he told me. My whole life changed in an instant; one day I had a family, then my family became smaller. I blamed myself for what had happened. I always thought I was dirty and an awful person because of what happened.”

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