“I remember thinking, ‘This is how I’m going to go… But I don’t want Bobby to have to be a single father!’ Little did I know he was thinking the same thing.”
‘All of a sudden, I hear the doctor say, ‘She’s bleeding out!’ My baby is stripped from my chest. I knew if I freaked out, I would just lose blood faster. I can see the fear in my husband’s eyes.’
‘My daughter said, ‘There’s a light coming into the picture.’ It wasn’t just any light. This was a beam straight from HEAVEN itself.’
“This pregnancy has been exceptionally harder for me emotionally, knowing I won’t have any pictures of my dad holding this baby. I keep praying for him to show up in some way or another. And boy, did he.”
‘When I gave birth to my second child, I relapsed. I was running around, so it was easy to miss lunch. But then, I started missing that meal purposely.’
“’Just because I did it in the past doesn’t mean I’d do it again. Plus, I’m breastfeeding.’ That was the scary thing, I was BREASTFEEDING, and my daughter needed the nutrients. Hearing myself say those words out loud freaked me out. I lied.”
‘I didn’t love my daughter at first sight. I look at that picture and cringe. I just wanted to be left alone. I felt so heartless.’
“There the nurse was, taking this baby’s head and shoving it into my boob to start breastfeeding. ‘She’s your baby!’ I would tell myself, ‘just bond with her.’ I’ve made a huge mistake here.”
‘I anxiously laid there, holding my husband’s hand with a big smile on our faces. Only this time, something was different. I frantically scanned the screen. I knew it.’
“I put on the ugly gown, the ugly socks and continue breathing techniques. My husband kisses my hand, kisses my forehead, and holds my hand the entire way. The mask goes on, and I slowly close my eyes.”
‘Today, you are no longer an actual baby. I’m not sure what the official age cut off is, but in my mind, this is it. This is the moment we turn the page into toddler-hood.’
“These days, I feel lucky if you want to be held for more than a few seconds. You are so busy exploring and playing. You already feel the need to be independent. To do it yourself. To have things your way. Your little baby features are fading away, and I can suddenly see a big boy peeking through.”
‘I found out I was pregnant at only 17 years old. The news rocked my parents’ world. I was smart in school and dumb in love. I always knew I’d have the baby.’
“My swollen belly served as a force field around me. It quarantined me from regular teenage life. In true Jerry Springer style, I married the childhood best friend of my baby’s daddy.”
‘My worst nightmare was happening. I laid on the OR table gasping for air. ‘Help me! I can’t breathe!’ I stared into my mother’s eyes. I could see the fear written all over her face.’
“A huge splash of fluid hit the curtain in my face. All I could think was, ‘I’m going to die right here. I was born on this day, and I’m going to die on this day giving birth.'”
‘His demeanor changed. He told the nurse to get a doctor in there NOW. I started telling my mom I was sorry. I thought she was going to have to watch me die.’
“The anesthesiologist got in my face and told me I was leaving my children without a mother, that I was going to die on that table. He said, ‘This is as bad as it gets. Are you sure that’s the choice you want to make?’”
‘He looks healthy, except he was born without a right arm.’ Little boy surprised with comfort Teddy bear while being fitted for prosthetic arm
“When my son goes to bed, he always runs for his Teddy bear. He will lay down, then covers his Teddy up so he isn’t cold. He’ll hug and kiss him goodnight.”
