“She would break out the large stitching needles and sit on my tiny form, peeling my fingernails away from my flesh. It didn’t matter what it was, she insulted it. ‘You will die alone,’ she said when I mentioned being in love with a girl. ‘I should have aborted you,’ when I talked back. Once puberty hit, it was game over for me. I couldn’t win no matter how hard I tried.”
‘Your makeup looks like you worship Satan. Your entire appearance disgusts me.’: Abuse victim proudly says, ‘I am so much more than she said I was going to amount to’
‘I’d hold my breasts in each hand. ‘Who would I be without these?’: Woman opens up about her journey to self-love, ‘My body wasn’t a temple. I definitely didn’t treat it like one.’
“I used to get changed in P.E. and look at all the other girls around me. My hips were wider, my legs were thicker, and my stomach had a ‘flab’ to it. I was already in a C cup by the time I turned 12. I couldn’t bear being naked in front of my boyfriend. I would wear baggy t-shirts during sex, and he wasn’t allowed to see my boobs without a bra–I had forbidden that! My ex-boyfriends would tell me if I just lost weight, I’d be ‘unreal.’”
‘Even if you lose the weight, you’ll just gain it all back. This is too hard for you.’ I felt sloppy and ashamed of my mom pooch.’: Mom of 3 dedicates to a healthy, positive lifestyle through ‘self-acceptance and love’
“I noticed it first in my wedding photos. I didn’t even want to have pictures hanging around my house because I didn’t like the chubby arms and wide face that glared back at me. I have only 2 pictures of my baby bump during my first pregnancy. I was so uncomfortable that I didn’t want any photos of my bare belly those 9 months. There was a dress I found that covered my body well and made me look ‘okay enough,’ so I bought it in 4 colors. I knew something had to change.”
‘My mom would say I was ‘ballooning.’ I was in 4th grade. She’d implement some new weird food rule for my ‘health.’: Woman is ‘blown away’ by body positive community, ‘I learned to love myself, heal my relationship with my body and soul’
“Maybe my mom thought I wasn’t smart enough to hear what she was really saying: ‘My daughter is broken, how do I fix her?’ I was working out. I was doing everything right, wasn’t I? ‘Why am I still fat?,’ I asked myself. I was 10. Eating 500 calories a day, no cheating. But it was there, in that despair, that my life started to change. I came across a plus-size woman’s account and was… blown away.”
‘Look, she’s eating something!’ I hear the whisper. I feel the cold gnawing at the bottom of my stomach. I hate it and I love it.’: After 12 years battling anorexia, ED survivor learns to accept new plus-size body
“My brother makes me a sandwich when he sees I didn’t eat lunch. My bones poke up under my skin. ‘Please eat it,’ he begs. ‘You need to eat.’ It is so sweet of him, so I eat a few bites. But when he leaves, I give the rest to the dogs. They leave no evidence. Nothing in the trash for my dad to find when he empties it, nothing to clog the toilet. I have become clever in the ways of secret self-destruction.”
‘You’re not getting breast implants for me? After all I’ve done?!’ Just like that, my marriage was dead.’: Woman divorces husband after pressure for plastic surgery, ‘never alter yourself for a man’
“He was the perfect husband, until my 27th birthday. He took me into the storage closet of our tiny apartment. ‘Surprise!’ he said, pulling out a white envelope. I thought it would be a cute card. Inside I found cold, hard cash. Literally hundreds of dollars. ‘I saved it. For your new boobs!’ I felt rage overtake my body.”
‘He was looking at my new body in full light. ‘Rawr,’ he’d exclaim, flicking his eyebrows up and down.’: Woman embarrassed by postpartum body thankful husband ‘never slowed down in his affections
“My husband knew that while I dried my hair or slathered on moisturizer, I was perfectly comfortable with him coming into the bathroom to continue a conversation or tell me what I’d missed in the show he was watching. I never had an issue with him seeing my body, as I did unsexy things like brush my teeth. Until now.”
‘I found out devastating news. She’s in jail, permanently lost custody because she’s an addict. Crystal meth.’: Mom too wrapped up in her own ‘self-loathing’ to see past friend’s ‘mask’ of why she was so thin
“I walked in the door of their beautiful, suburban dream house. I looked up to see a woman whose body would’ve made Heidi Klum look like a hobo. She was so thin. She looked tired, as you would expect, but there wasn’t an ounce of baby weight left on her barely a few months postpartum. I instantly judged myself.”
‘I didn’t remember I had my shirt off. ‘Mama, can I take a picture of Bowie?’ I vaguely remember shifting him on my hip so she’d see him better.’: Mom felt ‘disgusted’ after postpartum photos, says it’s ‘normal to mourn your body’
“Alas, a picture was taken. I scrolled through the 50 she took of us and I was not thrilled with what I was looking at. Why? Because of my stomach. The little house this baby grew in was the reason for my disgust. It took me 3 days to even look at those pictures again.”
‘I have stretch marks, saggy skin, a weird fat fold around my C-section scar. I don’t really love myself. This has to stop.’: Mom insists weight does not define us, cannot keep letting ‘my imperfections consume me’
“I can’t pass this on to my daughters. I can’t have them looking at their bodies in search of flaws. I don’t want them to put all of their worth in what they see in the mirror. I want them to know, what I still am trying to convince myself. We might have fat, but we are not fat. This is not WHO we are.”
