“Or is it 390? Maybe that’s my number. The size implant I want when they reconstruct my breasts so I can feel more human again. I squeezed every weird gelatin blob in my plastic surgeon’s office before settling on one. ‘I dunno, this one?’”
‘185. That’s my number. It is what pops up on the scale when I decide it’s time to torture myself. I stress-ate after being diagnosed with breast cancer.’
‘This is me in a dress I have NO business wearing.’
“I don’t want you to say, ‘OMG, YOU LOOK GREAT!’ I don’t want you to say, ‘GOOD FOR YOU!’ I want you to know why I’m wearing a dress I have no business wearing.”
‘Not all of us have washboard stomachs in bikinis when their baby is 1-year-old. Some of us still look a pregnant, some of us have muscle separation that won’t heal without surgery. AND THAT IS OK!’
“When I look at my children, I feel invincible. I grew them, I birthed them, and I have the scars to prove it. Talk to yourself as if you’re the most important person in the world, because to little humans, you are.”
‘I tried to put my pre-baby jeans on, and they didn’t fit. ‘You did good, babe, ’I looked at myself in the mirror and said, instead of feeling like crap.’
“I didn’t just wake up one day with my body not fitting into jeans. I didn’t just wake up with muscle separation, a saggy belly, stretch marks or a bit of extra weight. I had a freaking baby. I grew a baby. I made it in my body. I made a foot in there, an eyeball, I made another heartbeat.”
‘I got implants after having a baby. I truly thought, ‘No big deal.’ I started having pain, EVERYWHERE. I pulled in to a gas station and called my husband. ‘SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME.’
“Then one day I met someone. I started reading the posts and asking questions. I found woman after woman with stories that mirrored mine. They were ME! I was THEM! Some were so sick they were on the verge of death, LITERALLY. This is when everything changed. Suddenly, I knew I needed to get them out of me ASAP.”
‘I was self-conscious after having a baby, so I got breast implants. I got the ‘healthier’ option. When I woke up from surgery, it felt like the air got knocked out of my lungs.’
“I’d express my concern at every follow up, but the doctor assured me everything was healing well. So, I ignored my intuition. The pain persisted. Years later, I looked through hashtags on Instagram, and everything finally made sense. I had discovered it. Instantly I knew.”
‘What?! NO. I don’t ever want to lose this. I was suddenly very protective of it. I want it with me. Forever. Wedding day and all.’
“Weeks into knowing each other, I received the first ever ‘Goodnight, beautiful’ text from him. My heartbeat quickened. Unknowingly, I covered my shy smile with my hand. But to both of our shock, I instantly and abhorrently rejected the offer.”
‘Ewww I don’t wanna see that.’ I am 29 weeks pregnant. No one will take my photo. I asked my husband, and he rolled his eyes and avoided me.’
“I had to beg my toddler to.”
‘I hid my habits. On the way to visit my boyfriend, I’d down a burger in my car, hide the evidence, then go to dinner a few hours later like a proper lady. Salad only, please.’
“When I moved, all the women looked like movie stars. Blonde with bountiful boobs, thin waists, and faces full of makeup. I went for a haircut and told the stylist I felt so out of place; I’d never be able to compete with these women. He stopped his snipping just long enough to say, ‘Sure you will. If you’re willing to pay enough.’”
‘She’s too confident,’ they whisper to each other. If only they knew she leads with self-assurance to overcome her debilitating self-doubt and social anxiety.’
“‘She’s too unkempt. Kids are not an excuse for looking so ragged,’ they added. ‘She talks and shares her opinion too much.'”
