born sleeping

‘We received a call. ‘Do you want to adopt all 5 siblings?’ It was an instant, ‘YES!’ We told our babies they were finally safe, that we would never harm them.’: Mom of 4 adopts 5 siblings from foster care after miscarriage, twin loss, ‘They have healed my heart’

“We were pregnant with twins! The nurse said, ‘Slowly, his organs will stop working.’ His heart was last. He was so swollen, he couldn’t open his beautiful eyes. ‘I’m so proud of you, Eli. You’ve been such a fighter. You can let go.’ I looked around at all the nurses crying. ‘Oh God, it hurts so bad!’ His tiny foot jerked. I couldn’t see through my tears.”

‘Ezra is sick and I can’t get to him!’ We sat in tears while they operated on him in front of us.’: Mom loses baby to Congenital Leukemia, ‘He worked so hard to make sure we got to meet him’

“The doctor explained, ‘Ezra has bleeding on the brain that we can’t stop.’ We were told they believed the kindest thing to do was to turn his life support machine off. She asked me so many questions about what I did during my pregnancy, as if something I had done may have caused it.”

‘I lost a baby, too,’ Why is she saying that? I’m not losing my baby, am I? Surely they can save her!’: Woman experiences her baby being born still, ‘I have learned grief is not linear’

“The emotional pain was like something I have never experienced. I remember the midwife placing my daughter on me, I hadn’t opened my eyes and was terrified. She quickly took her off and I remember just crying. All I wanted to do was swap places with my baby. I didn’t understand how this could have happened.”

‘Omg, I still have to have the baby.’ It was the worst realization. My first experience with birth would be giving birth to death.’: Woman births stillborn due to knot in the umbilical cord, ‘I got my little girl but at the same time, I didn’t’

“My first experience with birth would be giving birth to death. ‘What are you here for?’ ‘A c-section,’ I responded. ‘How exciting! Do you know the sex?’ ‘No, we don’t,’ I said, thinking she should just give me the damn wristband and let me go. ‘Oh, that’s so fun. Congratulations!’ Our doctor said, ‘It’s a GIRL.’ I remember that first look and the love that overcame me.”

‘Today is the day I get to meet Abigail!’ I’m excited! Her tone is bleak, she begins to cry. ‘Abigail didn’t make it.’: Father’s anguish over losing child, ‘drifting apart’ from daughter’s mother after ‘trauma’

“A text comes to me about 11:24. It reads, ‘Are you at work? Can you call me?’ Abigail’s mother no longer wanted to be around me. I was a reminder of our trauma. It was devastating because now I feel completely erased from her life as if nothing ever happened. I constantly dream of the family that almost was.”

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