“Sometimes I’d hit a vein and the blood would shoot out in an arc, creating stripes across the mirror and pouring into the sink. I was cutting away everything seemingly imperfect. Pulling out little threads which turned out to be nerves, partially paralyzing my lower lip and bits of my chin. I still didn’t stop.”
‘Why would you do this to yourself? This is just bizarre.’ It’s hard to look in the mirror and see the damage I’ve done.’: Woman shares her history of self-mutilation and bulimia
‘No one else has the guts to tell you this, but you look like a crack addict.’ I was starving, and horrified.’: Woman beats long battle with eating disorder, ‘I get up every day and FIGHT FOR MY LIFE’
“For 9 years, I didn’t tell anyone my secret. On the morning of my grandma’s funeral, I went full detox. As we sat in the pews, I kept telling myself, ‘Don’t be selfish. Don’t cause a scene.’ I started convulsing. Completely paralyzed, I couldn’t move. I was so angry and embarrassed. My mother wouldn’t let me out of the car at the cemetery. I sat in our SUV and watched my family, huddled around her grave, from afar. It was like watching them gathered around my own coffin. I knew I was next.”
‘Get out. I’ll kill myself if you stay in this house with us,’ my mom said. I was given 2 weeks notice to move out.’: Woman overcomes neglect, eating disorder, ‘I wake up every day and choose recovery’
“My parents were avid members of a money-making cult disguised as a religion. According to the church, I was ‘riddled with aliens.’ I was forced to falsely confess to crimes. ‘Maybe my parents would like me more if I eat less.’ Before I knew it, I lost my period. My hair fell out in chunks. One day, I snapped. I took 40 pain killers. I woke up poisoned and scared. Embarrassed as hell, I called the ambulance. ‘What do I do?!’ I knew something had to change.”
‘I woke up in a hotel room and rolled over to multiple guys I didn’t know. ‘Where am I? What the heck happened?’ Silence. I quickly ran out the door.’: Woman 1,000 days sober after long battle with alcoholism
“I slowly opened my eyes when I heard my name being called. ‘Yvette, you’re next!’ I was lying on a cold, stone bench in a room with a bunch of other girls. My head was pounding. I quickly realized I was still intoxicated from the night before. A guard opened the door and escorted me down a hall. It was then I caught a glimpse of my reflection…in an orange jumpsuit. Who was this person staring back at me? I did not recognize her.”
‘If you want to kill yourself I’ll help you pull the trigger,’ my dad told me. ‘You’ll sit here and eat.’: Woman fights obesity, undergoes weight loss surgery at husband’s demand, ‘my soul is healing with each bout of laughter’
“I met my first husband at 19. We married at 21. He loved how I was plus-sized and enjoyed giving me unhealthy foods as ‘treats.’ He joined the Air Force. ‘There’s a woman in my unit who reminds me of you, but she’s a lot thinner. I have a crush on her.’ We went out to dinner. ‘Enjoy eating like this now because this stops when we get on base.’ I found out he’d been talking to other women while I was in the hospital.”
‘Your body is my worst nightmare. Make your account private, you trigger me.’: Young woman describes ‘feelings of doubt’ while recovering publicly from anorexia
“At 8 years old, my pediatrician said, ‘You need to eat more salad.’ My eating disorder started to spin out of control. ‘I’m sorry my body terrifies you, it’s healthy. I refuse to hide because I’m larger than you’d like.'”
‘My brother started the ‘naked man’ game when I was 6. I felt so empty I thought I might just float away.’: Woman overcomes sexual trauma, now uses kindness as an ‘act of rebellion’
“I walked home in a dress, but no underwear. I told my mom and dad I was staying with a friend, and then went into the operating room to have my right fallopian tube removed along with the baby that would never be. I went home the next day and said, ‘I feel like I have the flu’ and went straight to bed. My cry for help didn’t work. Nobody noticed. Nobody asked if I was okay. I knew if I didn’t start fighting for myself, I’d end up dead.”
‘I dropped 10 sizes on a starvation diet. ‘Wow, you look GREAT!’ I basked in compliments, but deep down I wanted someone to grab me and say, ‘Hey, I think you need help.’ Woman explains why congratulating weight loss is ‘problematic’
“I dropped to one meal a day. Coffee for breakfast, Red Bull at 3 p.m., light dinner. They’d look and say, ‘Congrats! You look awesome!’ It made me feel REALLY good. But part of me wanted to shout in their faces. They might as well have said, ‘That not-eating thing you’re doing? Totally working. Keep it up!’ It fueled me.”
‘I removed my breast implants. Within minutes, I was attacked by a man. ‘You look like a little boy. Where did your breasts go?’ It felt like a punch in my gut.’
“He proceeded to tell me that smaller chests were meant for middle school and that real women had ‘grown up’ bodies. Ouch.”
‘You should’ve just killed yourself and got it over with.’ My gym teacher caught me in the girl’s bathroom. I was the talk of the school.’: Teen mom overcomes bullying, sexual assault, ‘I’m learning to love myself in a way I never have’
“I was so tired of being the ‘fat friend.’ I started getting up at 5 a.m. to do my hair and makeup. I bought ‘promiscuous’ clothing and dropped to a size 0. When I was sent away to rehab for not eating, it took my so-called ‘friends’ over a year and a half to even notice I was gone. I could feel that something was still missing in my life, but I didn’t know what.”
