“At 8 years old, my pediatrician said, ‘You need to eat more salad.’ My eating disorder started to spin out of control. ‘I’m sorry my body terrifies you, it’s healthy. I refuse to hide because I’m larger than you’d like.'”
‘Your body is my worst nightmare. Make your account private, you trigger me.’: Young woman describes ‘feelings of doubt’ while recovering publicly from anorexia
‘My brother started the ‘naked man’ game when I was 6. I felt so empty I thought I might just float away.’: Woman overcomes sexual trauma, now uses kindness as an ‘act of rebellion’
“I walked home in a dress, but no underwear. I told my mom and dad I was staying with a friend, and then went into the operating room to have my right fallopian tube removed along with the baby that would never be. I went home the next day and said, ‘I feel like I have the flu’ and went straight to bed. My cry for help didn’t work. Nobody noticed. Nobody asked if I was okay. I knew if I didn’t start fighting for myself, I’d end up dead.”
‘I dropped 10 sizes on a starvation diet. ‘Wow, you look GREAT!’ I basked in compliments, but deep down I wanted someone to grab me and say, ‘Hey, I think you need help.’ Woman explains why congratulating weight loss is ‘problematic’
“I dropped to one meal a day. Coffee for breakfast, Red Bull at 3 p.m., light dinner. They’d look and say, ‘Congrats! You look awesome!’ It made me feel REALLY good. But part of me wanted to shout in their faces. They might as well have said, ‘That not-eating thing you’re doing? Totally working. Keep it up!’ It fueled me.”
‘I removed my breast implants. Within minutes, I was attacked by a man. ‘You look like a little boy. Where did your breasts go?’ It felt like a punch in my gut.’
“He proceeded to tell me that smaller chests were meant for middle school and that real women had ‘grown up’ bodies. Ouch.”
‘He left me in the woods alone and stole my phone. I woke up cold, scared. I became the talk of the school. Weeks later, I found out I was pregnant.’
“No one came to see me at the hospital. It took my ‘friends’ a year and half to even notice I was gone. Until one day I was caught at the school by the gym teacher in the girl’s bathroom. ‘You should’ve just killed yourself a faster way and got it over with.’ Soon after, I met a man.”
‘I was afraid of having a girl because of my mother. Into my teens, she taunted me about my weight. I was terrified.’: Mom’s candid fear about having daughter after her mom caused childhood PTSD, eating disorder
“The ultrasound technician asked me, ‘Alright, are you ready?’ I asked with excitement, ‘Is it a boy?!’ She shook her head. ‘Nope.’ ‘It’s a girl?’ I was hoping I misunderstood her. ‘Yes,’ she said. My heart sank. I felt it would be impossible to have a successful relationship with a daughter.”
‘My husband told me breast implants would help ‘spice things up’. I was 22 and wanted to feel feminine. I constantly found him viewing pornography, which made me feel undesirable.’
“My joints were swollen and I couldn’t wear my wedding ring anymore. My hair started falling out in chunks that would clog the drain. I figured it was just part of being a new mom and shook it off. No doctor could figure out what was wrong.”
‘It started innocent. I figured I’d skip a few meals, run more. I never imagined the horrible, disgusting things I’d do to myself. I had only wanted to lose 15 pounds.’
“At first, it was run-of-the-mill diet talk. ‘Cut carbs! No dairy!’ Then I saw picture upon picture of skin-and-bone bodies. I was repulsed and intrigued. Soon enough, I started feeling guilty if I wasn’t cutting out meals. I spent hours a day fantasizing about food. I’d cry in the mirror as I plugged calories into my food journal.”
‘Do you ever worry about dying? You’re killing yourself.’ She was right.’: ‘Misguided teenager’ credits her unexpected pregnancy for saving her life after ‘horrible’ eating disorder
“I found out I was pregnant. I was confused with shock and happiness, but I was so scared. How could someone like me, who can barely keep herself alive, care for someone else? I couldn’t even give myself nourishment, so how was this small baby supposed to get any? I had my first ultrasound, and everything was crystal clear. I was going to make this small dot live, no matter what. It wasn’t about me anymore. It was about this small being inside me that NEEDED me.”
‘I cost my parents thousands of dollars in medical bills because I was not ready to admit my problem’: Woman overcomes severe eating disorders after finally admitting sexual assault
“When I was 13 I was sexually assaulted and hid it from my family. I gained more than 100 pounds to hide myself from the truth I didn’t want to believe. I was so bitter and angry for so long, but I survived each version of myself, and I’m better for it.”
