bulimia

‘No one else has the guts to tell you this, but you look like a crack addict.’ I was surrounded by a looming cloud of self-hatred.’: Woman beats lifelong battle with eating disorders, ‘I get up every day and fight for my life’

“Every time I leaned over my toilet and stuck my fingers down my throat, I would tell myself this was just what a disgusting person like me deserved. I was a shell of myself. I was too scared to kill myself. “Please don’t let me wake up.’ On the morning of my grandma’s funeral, I knew I was next.”

‘My mom said, ‘You have to leave. I’ll kill myself if you stay in this house with us.’ I was given one week.’: Woman overcomes neglect, eating disorder, ‘I wake up every day and choose recovery’

“When I had my first period, I felt I was confessing to a huge crime. I asked her, ‘Why?’ She simply said, ‘Out of sight, out of mind.’ I moved into a rundown bed where nobody spoke English. There was no lock on the front door and I frequently saw and heard people doing drugs on the roof of my bedroom.”

‘At 13, I was 300 lbs. My dad told me, ‘If you want to kill yourself, I’ll help you pull the trigger.’: Woman undergoes weight loss surgery at husband’s demand, ‘My soul is healing with each bout of laughter’

“I almost died on the operating table while my husband was talking to other women. ‘He said you’re giving him a hard time about not coming to visit you. You need to be more independent and let him do his duties.’ I was physically and emotionally broken. I didn’t care if I survived.”

‘My brother started the ‘naked man’ game when I was 6. I felt so empty I thought I might just float away.’: Woman overcomes sexual trauma, now uses kindness as an ‘act of rebellion’

“I walked home in a dress, but no underwear. I told my mom and dad I was staying with a friend, and then went into the operating room to have my right fallopian tube removed along with the baby that would never be. I went home the next day and said, ‘I feel like I have the flu’ and went straight to bed. My cry for help didn’t work. Nobody noticed. Nobody asked if I was okay. I knew if I didn’t start fighting for myself, I’d end up dead.”

‘I dropped 10 sizes on a starvation diet. ‘Wow, you look GREAT!’ I basked in compliments, but deep down I wanted someone to grab me and say, ‘Hey, I think you need help.’ Woman explains why congratulating weight loss is ‘problematic’

“I dropped to one meal a day. Coffee for breakfast, Red Bull at 3 p.m., light dinner. They’d look and say, ‘Congrats! You look awesome!’ It made me feel REALLY good. But part of me wanted to shout in their faces. They might as well have said, ‘That not-eating thing you’re doing? Totally working. Keep it up!’ It fueled me.”

‘You should’ve just killed yourself and got it over with.’ My gym teacher caught me in the girl’s bathroom. I was the talk of the school.’: Teen mom overcomes bullying, sexual assault, ‘I’m learning to love myself in a way I never have’

“I was so tired of being the ‘fat friend.’ I started getting up at 5 a.m. to do my hair and makeup. I bought ‘promiscuous’ clothing and dropped to a size 0. When I was sent away to rehab for not eating, it took my so-called ‘friends’ over a year and a half to even notice I was gone. I could feel that something was still missing in my life, but I didn’t know what.”

‘It’s a girl!’ My heart sank. On the way home from my gender reveal, I cried. Hard. I was hoping it was some mistake.’: Woman candidly shares reality of ‘gender disappointment’ after years of mother’s abuse

“‘Wow, she must be shallow to care about the gender of her unborn baby.’ ‘She should just be happy to have a healthy baby!’ ‘How selfish! Some women dream of getting pregnant and can’t!’ Gender disappointment is real. We are afraid to speak about it. We fear judgement.”

‘I was 22 and wanted to feel feminine. My husband said breast implants would help ‘spice things up.’: Woman removes implants after plagued by Breast Implant Illness, ‘Removing them gave me the confidence I lacked for years’

“No one could figure out what was wrong me. My hair was falling out in chunks, my joints were swollen, and I could no longer form complete sentences. Once I decided my implants could be poisoning me, I made the decision to get them taken out. ‘You’re going to be unhappy after removing them,’ my surgeon told me. I walked out and I knew he was not the guy for the job.”

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