calm

‘I need to let you in on a secret. There is a block of time known as the ‘witching hour.’ Mom hilariously recaps these ‘God forsaken hours’ where kids ‘whine,’ ‘amp up their crazy’ and ‘there may be blood’

“Now is typically when you, my love, call and say you’re running late and will be home ‘soon.’ WELL ‘SOON’ ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH. The hours have been counted. I’ve been waiting. I’m already 6 feet past the end of my rope, and bedtime can’t come fast enough. I need relief. IT’S YOUR TURN.”

‘I woke with tired eyes, snappy replies. I had a mountain of laundry to start. ‘What if, for once, I wasn’t productive?’ I had this eager feeling. So, I did it. Disguised in active wear, I rented a five-dollar robe.’

“My husband and baby were gone. I shaved my leg fuzz, packed a bag, and drove to the fitness center. Now, don’t be fooled. I haven’t completely lost my mind and decided to partake in some sort of exercise. Let’s all calm down. No, no, no. This place has LOUNGERS, and ROBES, and a JACUZZI! Remember a jacuzzi?! Neither do I!”

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