“This is my son, Leo. He has severe autism and the mental capacity of a 3-year-old. This airline refused to let him fly home because he was distressed when they wouldn’t let him have his doll. Police were called, which caused his meltdown.”
‘HE’S FINALLY ON THE PLANE! In desperation, we went to another airline desk to beg for help. She even sat on the floor with him. He was so frightened. He was in a wheelchair due to them medicating him.’
‘My sister whispered during one of those many hours, ‘Dad is teaching us how to die.’ The man who named the project suddenly became the subject.’
“We watched him go from a life-loving, bike-riding, wine-drinking, book-writing, word-weaving, soul-enriching mensch, to ashes in a box on my mother’s mantle in some of the shortest, yet longest weeks of my life.”
‘She looked me dead in the eye. ‘What is it? Did the man leave?’ I can tell she was scared, her face went pale. Then I called 911.’
“I remember her concentrating on a certain part of my shirt, of course, I was scared. I never made it seem as if she was alone in this journey.”
‘The morning we left, I snuck into Olive’s room, kissed her cheeks and said goodbye, never knowing if I would see her again. I never knew how dearly I would come to love such a tiny little human.’
“She would cry many mornings as I cried, broken over the pain she was experiencing and longing with a deep ache for an adoptive family for her where she would know the love of a forever home.”
‘There’s good news and there’s bad news,’ my dad told me. ‘The good news is they found out what’s wrong with Mom.’ I didn’t know how much longer I could hang on.’
“After 2 years of troubling behavior with my mom, and doctors assuring us there was nothing wrong, we finally had concrete answers. Dad’s voice caught in his throat and tears welled in his eyes. He said the word we most feared.”
‘I received suspicious looks for being a grown man at the park at 2 p.m. with his kids. ‘It’s nice of you to do your wife’s job,’ is what they were really saying.’
“I ran into friends at the grocery store, and they asked me if I’d lost my job. All of it was maddening.”
‘He said, ‘I know she can’t go home,’ and was quiet the rest of the ride. Dad couldn’t get his coat off fast enough. He sat beside her, so happy to see her, saying how much he loved her.’
“She was staring straight ahead. That didn’t matter to him. He was back with his Mary Jane. I noticed it was quiet. I look over and Dad is laying on her shoulder sobbing – not crying, sobbing. After my tears started, I went in their bathroom wanted to scream. So these are the golden years?”
‘I know to be grateful for his years. I also know he was sick for a long time. Nobody knows that more than us, because we witnessed it. I know, but I don’t care.’
“He breathed 2 tiny last gasps of breath before leaving us for good this time. I watched him, felt him and loved him. So I think yes, I will mourn and still cry, if I want and need to.”
‘There were 2 missing from our Thanksgiving celebration this year – our brother, who lost his battle to cancer, and our mom, who is still with us, but lost within herself.’
“I sat next to her and she looked at me. She said, ‘Who are you?’ We knew someday it would happen – Our time has come.”
‘He was her strength, her protector, her everything – until he wasn’t. Nothing, absolutely nothing, prepared us for the affect it would have on Dad.’
“He started calling at 4 a.m. He was extremely agitated. Panicked. He told us we have to come get him – NOW! The father we know and love is almost unrecognizable to either of us.”