“I felt I didn’t have the right to enjoy anything while my mom and dad were suffering so greatly. I felt guilty I didn’t take care of her from the minute I woke up until the minute I went to sleep. I stopped living my life because they couldn’t live theirs.”
Don’t Punish Yourself For Your Loved One’s Suffering
‘My mom doesn’t know who I am anymore, but she knows me in a way no one else does. I am her safe space.’: Daughter to mom with Alzheimer’s says ‘our bond is unbreakable’
“If I had one wish, one thing for my mom to have back, it wouldn’t be for her to remember who I am. That would be the last thing I’d wish for.”
‘It’s okay,’ we told her. She was left to wipe the tears. My heart hurt a little for her. I long to see joy within their eyes.’: Camp caregiver’s kindness and encourages girl to ‘face her monster’
“Despite the encouragement, applause, and prayers from her friends, she could not bring herself to do it. But as I walked away, I couldn’t help but wish she could have jumped. And, in that moment, it dawned on me. I think it fits with what we are all facing these days.”
‘I’m here,’ she sobs. More and more it doesn’t make sense. Yet it’s all we have now.’: Woman describes caring for mother with Alzheimer’s, ‘Love doesn’t care if I understand’
“People ask, ‘What did she say?’ My response is usually, ‘I have no idea.’ Her voice whispers in my mind: ‘I’m not in my words, you won’t find me in what I say.’ It’s surprising how little it all matters.”
‘We’re so lucky your dad still has his job.’ I don’t know how we’ll do it another day, another week, another year.’: Mom of special needs son says ‘being his caregiver is a whole life job’
“Most children don’t depend on their parents for everything their entire lives. We always worry about illness. He’s nonverbal, cannot walk, has a feeding tube, and recently has been diagnosed with a seizure disorder. But then, I look at Christopher and smile.”
‘Who are you? I don’t know you and I’m really scared,’ she said, shaking. She was crying now. I was her baby, her best friend.’: Woman shares painful Alzheimer’s journey, ‘Nothing prepares your heart for the day your mom doesn’t know you’
“That morning, I picked up my mom for a routine dental cleaning. As usual, she was happy to see me. Nothing stood out as odd. She joked with the receptionist about me and walked out the door with a smile. As soon as the sunlight hit her face, she turned to me. ‘You never told me.’ ‘Told you what?’ I asked. ‘Who you were.’ All in a couple of seconds, I realized this was very real. She was terrified and begged, ‘Take me home.’ I soon realized ‘home’ was her childhood house. My mind was racing.”
‘Up until that point, I’d lived a charmed life. Then tragedy struck. It was isolating. But they also didn’t throw a ‘pity party’ for me.’: Man credits resilience for getting him through ‘each of those dark days’
“My life was quickly thrown upside down. The love of my life was suddenly killed in a car accident. I handled it with anger and bitterness. The economy began to crumble. I quickly became the best possible cab driver I could be. Shifts were 12 hours long. I pulled my boots up and reinvented myself. Then everything changed again. The ginger ale sat on the kitchen counter, slowly turning into a bomb. At the exact second Shelly passed the sink, the bottle exploded. I was horrified. What a battle it has been.”
‘Can I give the a tree a hug?’ She tells me her brain is stuck. ‘Why is the sun shining?’: Caretaker of an autistic child insists ‘I am a better person because of her. I see the world in a changed way.’
“I said, ‘Break a leg!’ She got furious and started yelling at me, ‘Why do you want me to break a leg?? She takes things exactly the way they are, what you say is what she hears, and she processes the language just as it’s spoken. Katy has her own unique way of thinking, which I adore.”
‘I knew when it was time you would rise to the occasion and take care of her and of us. And you did.’ Hearing that made it all worth it.’: Nurse reflects on how she has to be a nurse, even when it’s for family
“The night my mother-in-law passed away, everyone was a mess. Emotional, tired and grieving that she had been suffering so long. Even after being a nurse for 15 years, I wasn’t prepared for how it would feel to be the family member in the nursing role. On the way home, I wasn’t ok.”
‘I think I have heartburn.’ He winced, shook it off. ‘As long as it’s not my pancreas!’ We laughed, having no idea.’: Woman loses partner to pancreatic cancer, ‘I walked with him, through life and death’
“As the days passed, he couldn’t eat or sleep. Then came the shocking weight loss. This body I once knew was now all bones and sharp edges. I could see his ribs through his t-shirt. ‘We see a large mass,’ the doctor informed us. I cried silent tears. I could no longer touch any part of him, except his hands. Everything hurt too much. We were no longer laughing. We were hoping for one more day.”
