chemo

‘I was asked if I had any questions. All I could manage to mumble was, ‘Will I lose my hair?’ I was 16. I was in high school. I was a girl. I couldn’t be bald. I just couldn’t.’

“Three words. That’s all it took. Three simple words. Everything was happening too fast. I just sat there, staring at the wall, trying not cry. When homecoming came, I had this beautiful red dress. I put on heels, makeup. Then I looked in the mirror and crumbled to the ground. What was I thinking? I looked ridiculous. I looked sick.”

‘I snapped a photo of my daughter on the exam table, bragging about my healthy girl. ‘Come feel this,’ the doctor said. I put my hand on her belly. My heart sank.’

“We were about to walk out the door with a good bill of health when the doctor asked me if I had any concerns. That’s when I remembered her large tummy. He immediately laid her down on the exam table and began feeling around on her belly. His face quickly changed to concern. I looked at my husband and said, ‘This can’t be good.’”

‘After the diagnosis, we found out we were pregnant. It sent chills down my spine. All I could think was, ‘We don’t have enough time! How am I supposed to raise my children without him?’

“We were excited and broken. For much of my pregnancy, I struggled knowing that my baby would never meet the greatest man ever. He had this thing where he nicknamed each child on delivery day. Pistol, Bullet, Slug, and Cricket. There was so much anticipation for him to walk into that delivery room and call him by his ‘name’.”

‘I was 25, pregnant with twins, and had a 21-month-old son. After the babies were born, I noticed what I thought was a Clogged Milk Duct from breastfeeding. Then my life turned upside down.’

“I was using a breast pump, and noticed a lump. I shrugged it off. I took an electric toothbrush, holding it on the lump trying to break it up. I was stressing about being able to breastfeed two little humans. The office was empty. Everyone had left except for the doctor who was about to read the results. All I could say was, ‘What??’”

 Share  Tweet