“We were about to walk out the door with a good bill of health when the doctor asked me if I had any concerns. That’s when I remembered her large tummy. He immediately laid her down on the exam table and began feeling around on her belly. His face quickly changed to concern. I looked at my husband and said, ‘This can’t be good.’”
‘I snapped a photo of my daughter on the exam table, bragging about my healthy girl. ‘Come feel this,’ the doctor said. I put my hand on her belly. My heart sank.’
‘He should get his affairs in order.’ My heart stopped. WHAT? I immediately broke down. My biggest fear and worst nightmare had come true. ‘I don’t want to put you all through this,’ he said.’
“I was at home when I got a call from my husband. He was at the hospital, and then he said the 4 words I never expected to hear. ‘Okay, what now? What do we do?’ I was furiously texting my mother-in-law, ‘It’s not good.’ I just wanted it to stop. I couldn’t believe what was happening.”
‘After the diagnosis, we found out we were pregnant. It sent chills down my spine. All I could think was, ‘We don’t have enough time! How am I supposed to raise my children without him?’
“We were excited and broken. For much of my pregnancy, I struggled knowing that my baby would never meet the greatest man ever. He had this thing where he nicknamed each child on delivery day. Pistol, Bullet, Slug, and Cricket. There was so much anticipation for him to walk into that delivery room and call him by his ‘name’.”
‘We were celebrating 3 years of marriage. I thought life couldn’t get any better. When I laid down, I got news no one wants to hear. I ran to the bathroom and hovered over the toilet, dry heaving.’
“Tears rolled down my face. I went to lie down again and the entire sequence replayed itself. I could hardly believe it. Just like that, we transitioned from ‘recently married’ to ‘patient and caregiver’ and there was no stopping it. We began writing funeral plans.”
‘I was 25, pregnant with twins, and had a 21-month-old son. After the babies were born, I noticed what I thought was a Clogged Milk Duct from breastfeeding. Then my life turned upside down.’
“I was using a breast pump, and noticed a lump. I shrugged it off. I took an electric toothbrush, holding it on the lump trying to break it up. I was stressing about being able to breastfeed two little humans. The office was empty. Everyone had left except for the doctor who was about to read the results. All I could say was, ‘What??’”
‘She could not have been more perfect. When she died unexpectedly 2 months later, I thought my heart stopped with hers.’
“Three months after my love proposed to me, I found a lump. I was told I was ‘lucky’ because I had the ‘good kind’ of cancer. It was a hugely insensitive thing to say. My friends were buying homes, getting promotions, having children – and I’m the ‘lucky’ one?”
‘In tears, my husband handed me a small paper. ‘Please don’t take my baby!’ My stomach twisted into a giant knot. Our world totally flipped upside down.’
“I had so many questions, but all I wanted to do was hold her and sob. ‘She’s just 16 and in this much pain?’ I looked at my sweet, beautiful girl and could not believe it. After blood work and an x-ray, we learned the fateful news.”
‘Did you give her that hickey on her chest?’ I had a low-cut dress on my husband likes. ‘No, she had cancer. That is her scar.’ Sadly, it didn’t end there.’
“My husband and I were on a date. One of these women leaned over to my husband and asked him this question. Then, the ladies told me I should ‘get a tattoo to cover up my scar.’ I have to tell you, they got to me.”
‘I was desperate. I called him. He told me I over-iced it and hung up. But he was the best, right? Then I felt a lump. I was home alone when I got the call, I will never forget.’
“I remember signing papers before surgery that said, ‘Check here if willing to receive blood in case of emergency.’ I asked my doctor, ‘Why would I need blood?’ He replied, ‘You won’t, it’s just a formality.’ I trusted him. I believed him.”
‘We don’t know how much time he has left. ‘Jason, I cannot lose one more moment.’ My husband nodded his head. ‘I know,’ he said. These will be our last family photos.’
“I wanted to save my son’s smile and innocence, since I couldn’t save him. When the end happens, I will have these memories to remind me of the wonderful times we had fighting a horrid disease. I will have those beautiful blue eyes I saw for the first time when he came into this world.”
