“After several unanswered phone calls and texts, I rushed to the hospital. The surgeons called me into a tiny room with a white board. The news didn’t hit me until I had to relay it to my parents. All we could do was sob.”
‘His last text said, ‘Bank robber.’ My heart raced and I ran upstairs. I received a message from a stranger offering condolences to my fiancé. I had no idea what was going on.’
‘My sister is not JUST my child’s aunt. She is a second mother. You became my closest ally, my wingwoman.’
“You were there with a bottle of wine the first night of sleep training. You were there when I cried tears, holding my new baby, as I battled postpartum. You were there when my husband and I needed to work on our relationship. You are his hero, his safe haven, his escape.”
‘My birth control failed. I wasn’t ready to be a mother. 40 years later, I crashed into a man at the supermarket. ‘Do I know you?’ My heart dropped.’
“He extended his arm, smiling. ‘Nice to meet you. I’m Timothy.’ It was a split-second interaction, but one I’ll never forget. ‘This going to sound weird, but I feel like I know you. Were you adopted?'”
‘Did I love you enough today?,’ I wondered as I drove you to school through tears of frustration.. I catch a glimpse of you staring at me in the rear view.’
“I want to rewind the day and tell you how good you did. I will ALWAYS be here. Rooting for you. Lifting you up. You are, and always will be, the greatest thing I have ever done.”
‘I blacked out and collapsed. ‘We’re taking your baby,’ I heard someone say. I woke up not knowing where I was. I tried to tell them I was in pain, but couldn’t talk.’
“I saw nurses running back and forth. My parents waited for the helicopter to land. ‘They have to do surgery right now or she’ll die.’ My husband pulled over, went behind a building, and cried. ‘How am I going to raise 4 kids alone?!’ My oldest son was too scared to touch me. ‘I’m scared I’m going to hurt you, mama.’”
‘Momma, when are you gonna get better? I miss how you used to be.’ I could no longer lift her up. I didn’t have the guts to tell her there’s no cure.’
“I was walking down the sidewalk when I suddenly felt like my body was struck by lightning. My legs grew heavier with each step. All I could think was, ‘Something is very wrong.’ Nothing like this had ever happened before. The scariest part is fearing every day that I’ve passed it onto my daughter.”
‘I was 13 hours away with $1.32 in my account. Tears in my eyes, I gently opened the door. There was a look of shock on her face. ‘How did you get here?!’
“I wrote, ‘My mom is dying in hospice care and I feel guilty every day I’m not there sitting by her side.’ I awoke to something so unexpected. ‘Alex! Oh my god, Alex!’”
‘I was left at the altar. Instead of ‘I do’ I got 5 gut-wrenching words. ‘I just can’t do it.’ He didn’t look me in the eye. I caught him in a half-run and collapsed to the ground, sobbing.’
“I saw my mother rise up. ‘I AM GOING TO KILL HIM!’ I looked out at a sea of concerned faces, my own red from embarrassment. I just wanted to know who she was. The reason my heart was blown to pieces. When I returned home, all of his things were gone. Then it came. Two days later. A message to my sister.”
‘I love you. I’m sorry I can’t give you everything you want.’ My daughter sat on the bed, pouting. She was upset I wouldn’t take her to get a new toy. ‘Only because you won’t let me.’
“‘I love you enough to NOT give you everything you want.’ She rolled her eyes, clearly unwilling to accept this truth, and asked to be left alone. So, I walked away and closed the door behind me.”
‘I woke up with the worst pain. ‘They’re just headaches,’ I said. Something in my mom’s heart kept pushing. ‘There’s something in your brain,’ the doctor said. I was 11, and so confused.’
“I was rushed to the PICU. I tried to stay calm, but I was terrified. I couldn’t help but think, ‘How could I have done anything wrong to deserve this?’ I hid everything behind a smile, but I knew my life would never be ‘normal’ again.”
