child loss

‘We were both speechless. ‘We’re almost 40 and we’ll be changing diapers again!,’ my husband finally muttered. I didn’t say a word. I was so shocked, my jaw on the ground with tears in my eyes.’

“Two children in Heaven, one here on earth; we were at peace. We signed the paperwork with the fertility clinic to finally close that chapter in our lives. Six months later, we were relaxing with a bottle of wine. Before I poured a glass, I ran upstairs. I was ‘late.’ I barely glanced at it, assuming it would be negative.”

‘Holy FREAKING COW,’ I yelled. FOUR babies?! Is that even possible? I wasn’t even doing IVF! There must be a mistake, I can’t be having four babies! But there they were, quadruplets.’

“The doctor gasped, ‘Oh.’ I couldn’t bring myself to look. But when I did, there were 2 babies – twins! ‘Oh my goodness, oh my goodness.’ But wait. Now it’s triplets?! How. Does. This. Happen. We would need a bigger house. Then, she replied, ‘‘No, all FOUR are healthy with heartbeats.’ FOUR?!?!”

‘My doctor held my hand and started, ‘Tami…’ In that moment, I knew. I couldn’t breathe because I knew. Or at least I thought I did. My heart exploded with relief!’

“We were walking out of the house when a feather floated right in front of us. As we sat enjoying our morning coffee, another tiny feather made an appearance. On the drive home, I kept thinking … two feathers … what does that mean? But I had a hunch. I went straight to the bathroom and found a pregnancy test.”

‘Have you been taking fertility meds?’ No! We tried for 1 child, and spontaneously got 3. TRIPLETS! It felt like, Us: ‘Let’s have another kid.’ Universe: ‘Hold my beer.’

“We had a narrow window to get pregnant before our son’s next heart battles. By week 7 I knew something was different. I remember turning to my husband and telling him, ‘Either pregnancy as you get older is exponentially harder, or we are having twins.’ I’m pretty sure that sealed our fate.”

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