“The ultrasound tech went silent. ‘Will I be getting my pictures today?’ I asked. I was in such a good mood. ‘No. If there was anything there, I would’ve shown you. There’s nothing.’ She was so heartless, her tone dry. I felt dizzy. I held my husband close, tears rolling down my face. He convinced me to get my nails done to distract my mind.”
‘At the nail salon, I felt a heavy substance drop onto my underwear. ‘No!’ I tightened my legs.’: Woman miscarries baby in nail salon ‘horror scene,’ vows to always ‘honor my little one’
‘Can I see my boy for one more goodbye?’ A nurse gave him his first and only haircut. He was truly perfect.’: Couple loses son to stillbirth, anxious about new pregnancy, ‘My first is in heaven, I’ll meet him there someday’
“We rushed into the emergency room. I was bleeding so badly I thought I was going to die right there in the hospital alone. My husband was stuck checking me in for what seemed like forever. The events that happened next took place so fast, but as I look back on it now, the initial care I was given makes me so mad and sad. Once she finally realized the severity of what was happening, she ran for back up. I wanted to follow him right up to heaven. I begged God to take me too.”
‘Yellow!’ Micah pointed to an adorable little chick with a big smile. Then, he spiked a 106 fever.’: Woman loses 3-year-old to Arthritis, ‘I am a mother, that will never change with time, space, or death’
“‘Are you SURE?’ I asked the doc, reading the report. ‘It would be like being struck by lightening TWICE. He’s fine.’ They were wrong. He was SICK. Sicker than any baby I’d seen. I walked into the PICU bathroom, shut the door. I screamed, moaned, punched the mirror, and cried the guttural tears of a mother who already knew how the story ends, because she’d lived it before. I was reliving my worst nightmare.”
‘I’m so sorry I can’t take this away.’ He looked up at me with absolute perfect clarity. ‘It’s okay.’: Parents ‘astonished’ by infant son’s miraculous response, lose him days later to rare brain tumor
“We stood in astonishment. Prior to this, he’d only known how to say one word: ‘Dog.’ My wife and I leaned in to tell him we loved him. He looked up again and said, ‘I love you.’ We held his little hand, his little frail body in my arms, and begged him to visit us. I asked him to watch over his siblings. We put him in the black Suburban, and watched them drive away.”
‘I never got to see your face, but I’m still your mother. I loved you the moment I saw those 2 pink lines.’: Mom pens heartbreaking letter to child lost, ‘I hope you feel us, we’ll never stop loving you’
“I was never able to wrap you in a blanket and breathe you in. I’ll never comfort you when you’re sad, scared, or hurt. But I carried you. I knew you. And when I began losing you, when you started to leave my body much too early, a part of me went with you. I hope you know you would have fit right in with us. I hope you feel us. Because we will never stop loving you.”
‘Please! I’m pregnant!’ My front door kicked open. There, in my living room, stood a man with a gun.’: Woman loses baby to stomach gunshot wound in robbery, ‘I spent 8 beautiful days on Earth with her’
“Suddenly, I heard a gunshot and felt intense pain in my stomach. I couldn’t feel my baby moving anymore. The last thing I remember, I was being wheeled in for an emergency c-section, all eyes on me. When I finally saw my daughter, I could tell she was fighting. In my arms, her body started to fade to purple. ‘When you finally say enough is enough, she will be put to rest.’ Still, I held her through each breath. I was at a complete loss of words.”
‘She took her last breath in her daddy’s arms. She was absolutely beautiful, perfect. I wouldn’t survive.’: 18-year-old parents lose daughter at 20-days-old, says ‘you never get over it’
“‘There is nothing more we can do.’ We counted her tiny fingers, toes. She had my nose, and the most stunning blue-green eyes. We held her hand, stroked her hair. It was the first and last time my husband got to hold his daughter. The little girl whose name he chose. The nurse wrapped her in a white blanket and handed her to me. I took in every detail of her beautiful face, holding her tiny hand until all warmth was gone.”
‘The OB dropped my newborn. ‘It’s OK, you’re young. You’ll have more.’: Mom appalled by preemie’s treatment in child birth, hopes other child loss parents ‘never feel alone’
“Before I left, I turned back. I could see the heartbreak on my dad’s face. I was yelling bloody murder through the halls. They put my legs up. All I remember were bright lights and hearing, ‘Push! Keep pushing! He’s almost out!’ They failed to catch him. I finally got a call from my OB. She said her condolences. ‘I’m so sorry, I never predicted this.’”
‘Stop trying.’ He wasn’t coming back. That pale, limp body wasn’t my son. I pounded the wall.’: Mom insists rainbow baby ‘helped fill the void’ after son’s death, ‘she’s my reason to keep going’
“‘Why my son?! Why me?!’ We went home and packed up his clothes, toys. His grandparents held onto everything else. We couldn’t bear to. But we destroyed the Rock ‘n Play he died in. I’ve seen news stories about their recalls. Of course, it makes me wonder if that’s what happened to my son. We will never know. Within weeks of his passing, I was pregnant. Intentionally. Family was concerned. I didn’t care.”
‘When’s the baby coming?’ My face turns red in Starbucks. I’m not pregnant, and I’ve been struggling to be.’: Woman battling infertility reminds us ‘words have weight,’ vows to ‘never give up’
“I manage a smile and lie. ‘Soon.’ I rush out the door, no coffee in hand, and cry in my jeep. Those extra 40 pounds are grief weight. My body starts to feel like a cruel joke. ‘When are you having kids?’ ‘Have kids already!’ ‘I’m ready to be a grandma. The clock is ticking!’ they say. But when I stillbirth? No questions. No words. Just silence. My husband battles silent resent. There’s no baby, so there’s no marriage. These weren’t the vows I signed up for.”
