“Two children in Heaven, one here on earth; we were at peace. We signed the paperwork with the fertility clinic to finally close that chapter in our lives. Six months later, we were relaxing with a bottle of wine. Before I poured a glass, I ran upstairs. I was ‘late.’ I barely glanced at it, assuming it would be negative.”
‘We were both speechless. ‘We’re almost 40 and we’ll be changing diapers again!,’ my husband finally muttered. I didn’t say a word. I was so shocked, my jaw on the ground with tears in my eyes.’
‘Take a pregnancy test, crazy!,’ my sister said. My husband was out of town. He thought I was pulling a prank. We were SHOCKED. I was mind blown to see that positive! I WAS PREGNANT!’
“Jared and I met in the Army. For me, it was love at first sight. We started trying to have children right after we got married. At first, it was just fun. Then I started to get sick.”
‘Holy FREAKING COW,’ I yelled. FOUR babies?! Is that even possible? I wasn’t even doing IVF! There must be a mistake, I can’t be having four babies! But there they were, quadruplets.’
“The doctor gasped, ‘Oh.’ I couldn’t bring myself to look. But when I did, there were 2 babies – twins! ‘Oh my goodness, oh my goodness.’ But wait. Now it’s triplets?! How. Does. This. Happen. We would need a bigger house. Then, she replied, ‘‘No, all FOUR are healthy with heartbeats.’ FOUR?!?!”
‘I turned to the nurse, ‘If you won’t take me to see her, I will crawl if I have to.’ My best friend looked at the nurse and said ‘You might want to read her chart, she’s not kidding.’
“When everyone around me was telling me to give up, I took a chance. I did what every 21st century parent does, and what every doctor tells you not to do and I googled it. I found cannabis.”
‘Maybe you’re pregnant,’ she said. At 11:19 p.m. in a Target bathroom, I took a test. Two faint little lines. I kept the secret from my husband.’
“He blew up the air mattress in our living room and held me while I cried. I drove myself and a teenage girl from Chicago to Ohio. I felt myself start to bleed. That 17-year-old girl was there for me when she did not have to be.”
‘My doctor held my hand and started, ‘Tami…’ In that moment, I knew. I couldn’t breathe because I knew. Or at least I thought I did. My heart exploded with relief!’
“We were walking out of the house when a feather floated right in front of us. As we sat enjoying our morning coffee, another tiny feather made an appearance. On the drive home, I kept thinking … two feathers … what does that mean? But I had a hunch. I went straight to the bathroom and found a pregnancy test.”
‘I put you in your mom’s arms so you could be snuggled while you drifted off to sleep. I hid behind the curtain and shed silent tears. I still hear the echo of, ‘I’m so sorry, but he is gone.’
“I remember every single detail about this day. I knew what I was coming into, but in no way was I prepared for it. Your nurses before me had gotten you so handsome, dressed for your family. You looked so small in that big bed.”
‘Have you been taking fertility meds?’ No! We tried for 1 child, and spontaneously got 3. TRIPLETS! It felt like, Us: ‘Let’s have another kid.’ Universe: ‘Hold my beer.’
“We had a narrow window to get pregnant before our son’s next heart battles. By week 7 I knew something was different. I remember turning to my husband and telling him, ‘Either pregnancy as you get older is exponentially harder, or we are having twins.’ I’m pretty sure that sealed our fate.”
‘I was finally ready to ask for a divorce. Then I found out I was pregnant. I was shocked. ‘Well I have to tell my husband.’ It felt like we were living separate lives.’
“I didn’t think I was going to make it. My husband was with me. I told him he was going to figure out how to be a great dad. He had to trust himself, and find who he needed to help raise our daughter. My breaking point was when I caught him lying to my face.”
‘I made eye contact with the nurse, recognition and worry spread across her face. Through shaky tears I said: ‘I think my water broke.’ Dr. stupid then said: ‘Oh no, she just peed her pants.’
“About half way to his work my nose began to tickle and I felt a sneeze coming on. After a couple of large huffy inhale’s of air, it exploded. Absolute horror washed over me. I can’t do this. This…. is…. too…. much.”
