“‘Can my day just be done?,’ I heard her say. She then said a word that took me by surprise, and scared me: ‘Abort.’”
‘I heard her in the hall, talking about the ‘awful day’ she was having, and all the’ rough news’ she was having to break to families. When she entered, everything changed.’
‘I’m 25 years old. This is my first baby. I couldn’t even look at my husband. But the second I held him, I was madly in love.’: Mom says despite what she was told about Down syndrome diagnosis, ‘this boy was going to be a blessing’
”When Joshua was born, there was no cry. His umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and the doctor had to pry it off piece by piece. The second I saw him, I knew. At that moment, everything changed.”
‘I had jealousy and hatred for my husband. I imagined him enjoying his 40-minute commute, sipping his hot coffee at his desk, and having adult chats NOT about the color of poo.’
“You’re used to being a high-flying businesswoman, and now you’re sitting on the floor with a load of people who all seem to know the words to ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep!’ I was bloody mad!”
‘Everyone poops during labor,’ she warned. It was my first time. I couldn’t stop asking questions. ‘Is it normal my water hasn’t broken yet?’ ‘Should I push? When do I push?’
“My questions didn’t stop there. ‘Is the baby okay?’ He was covered in white slime. ‘Should he be that color?’ I felt so completely unprepared. These women never looked at me and said, ‘That isn’t my job.’ That is a hero.”
‘The nurses started whispering I didn’t want to see my own daughter, that I was rejecting her. After hearing those comments, I got up. I touched her face. I told her, ‘Your mom is here.’
“I admit, her appearance is shocking to most people. Sometimes it’s impossible to not be uncomfortable when people stare at us in the street, and see her as an alien. I dream they can see her like I do, as a beautiful little girl.”
‘I sat on the line stunned. ‘There are only 34 cases ever on record. He is as rare as they come.’ I peered in at him and thought, they were wrong, somehow this was just a fluke.’
“I was anxious to make my way to the NICU. I walked into the very room our daughter had been in and instantly knew our situation was much different than before. The doctor didn’t waste a minute of my time trying to sugar coat the situation.”
‘While in the hospital after birth, I was asked constantly if I had passed gas. ‘You farted yet, love?’ My answer was always no. So, she gave me the sweetest liquid and two pills to get me going.’
“Around 2-3 a.m. I was happily nursing my baby when my stomach started growling. There was a thunder storm in my colon and it was going to be explosive…”
‘Why God? She’s innocent. She’s only 6 months old!’ Thoughts of guilt flooded my mind. How could I possibly want to bring another child into this world so soon after losing my daughter?
“I wish I never had gone home. Around 2 a.m. we received a call from the hospital. I knew something was terribly wrong.”
‘Trisomy 18.’ ‘Incompatible with life.’ ‘Why would anyone want a baby like that?’ I didn’t understand how the baby so full of life within me could be THAT sick.
“She was so beautiful in her ultrasounds, yet the doctors would only tell me about how ‘scary’ she would look.”
‘For every woman unhappy with her postpartum marks, there is one wishing she had them.’ I once was her, the ‘one.’
“Some mama’s go home with only scars and no baby in their arms. For the ‘one’ wishing, hoping, praying for her miracle, this is for you.”
