“Ariana Grande announced her tour would only allow clear plastic bags to keep everyone safe. As a breastfeeding mom, I immediately thought, ‘How am I going to fit my breast pump in a clear plastic bag?’ I called Guest Services. They verified I would be allowed. Time to head into the concert.”
‘The security guard says, ‘Nope you can’t come in with that.’ It was not allowed unless I had my baby with me. Are you kidding me? The whole reason I have my pump is because I don’t have my baby.’
‘I was okay with him having a daughter, but NOT an ex. ‘I wonder where she’s sitting? Are they on the same couch? Why hasn’t he texted me? They’re back together, in Vegas getting married.’
“If there was a woman coming into MY daughter’s life, I would need their social security number and 20 references. When I met her, she said ‘hi,’ and walked away. Hi. Hi? That’s it? Where’s the interrogation? Where’s the drug test? I told Sam, ‘She hates me! I should text her.’ I was a total crazy person.”
‘Really, Daddy? Are you really going to let them CUT MY ARM OFF?’ My son’s face fell. A silent tear trickled down his cheek.’
“He looked in horror at me and his daddy. My husband held my son as he became frantic. It hurts to know my child worried so much, and never brought it to me.”
‘The phone rang. ‘Heather, he was kite-surfing. They don’t know what happened. He’s dead.’ I slumped slowly to the floor, but my voice was calm. I was in denial.’
“I felt the seat next to me sink down. Opening my eyes, I saw a beautiful black woman elegantly dressed in a long skirt and pretty blouse. She simply opened her arms and held me, rocking back and forth. ‘It’s going to be okay. Poor baby. I know, I’m here,’ she said, holding me tight.”
‘Your dad is going to die. This is a gut-wrencher. You will adopt a child. He will be your brother – the 4th child your dad has with his new wife.’
“Your dad’s wife will die unexpectedly of a drug overdose, followed by your dad to cancer just days later. Before your dad dies, he will sign over custody to you. You will fight tooth and nail through the courts for this child. This is your rock bottom.”
‘I don’t know her name, but she was our hero on our flight home. Everyone on the plane was looking at us, annoyed by my son’s outburst.’
“He had a sudden meltdown and we couldn’t keep him calm no matter what we tried. This flight attendant asked if she could hold him. I warned her he might get aggressive and try to gouge her eyes.”
‘No, Mommy! I don’t need a potty!’ The kids erupted in giggles. I should’ve been suspicious LONG before. Holland had been consuming juice boxes and popsicles for HOURS, y’all.’
“I go full-fledged panic mode. Something is amiss. I can smell it. Holland: ‘I DONT NEED A POTTY!’ Ben: ‘BAHAHAHAHAHHAA! She doesn’t need a potty, Mom! Our clubhouse ALREADY HAD a potty!’ Golden Retriever: *whimpering slightly* I climb up the ladder. My children are pointing to… A dog bowl.”
‘I see you as an attractive woman, not my daughter.’ Then he said, ‘You’re the kind of woman I always wanted. If you weren’t my daughter I would marry you.’
“My father made me feel guilty about it. He said I would destroy our family. That he would get deported to Mexico and my family would lose everything we worked so hard for. He told me to say I made it up because I was a rebelling teenager angry at my father. So I lied to them, I told them exactly what he told me to say.”
‘I found myself gasping for air. It did not matter how much I tried to breathe in, it felt as if nothing was going inside my lungs. A few days later I developed a bit of a cough. I could have died while on the mountain.’
“It took nearly 2 days before a helicopter arrived. 2 days of freaking out in subzero temperatures. I spent the entire time in a room where various people would pop their head in to make sure I was still alive.”
‘I said ‘I don’t want to live anymore, my kids deserve better than this, I should have never had them and dragged them down with me’ I wanted a lifeline. I wanted that chance of hope.’
“But instead I got ‘you should feel so lucky! You are blessed.’ Imagine telling yourself you’re so worthless, you’re not deserving, that you literally mess everything you touch and feeling guilty for all of that, like a tumble dryer in your head, swirling around and then someone says, ‘be grateful’”
